“The Other side..”- 14 December 2014.


Q. I am a poly technique final year student and I am going through lots of stress. I used to get topper in mathematics when was in school but now I can’t focus on my studies. I was not a social person, don’t like being so social but when I went to 12th class I made lots of new friends & I ignore my studies but after some time I realize that I don’t belong from them and start focusing on my studies again & had a admissions in poly technique but this year I got one subject back in it too. After doing hard work too. What should I do now.?? I am totally depressed now but I want to put myself together, then suddenly I start feeling depressed again. What should I do? Please help me.

Ans. There are various ups and downs in life and we should not get disheartened from them. It is good that you excelled earlier, but do not let that make you feel there is something lacking in you now. Stay calm by trying to control your anxieties and fears by doing relaxation exercises and practise some physical workout to keep your energy levels up. Once you are calm, it will be easier to focus. One subject back is not a very big failure, use it as a stepping stone and overcome it. Also, making friends is good for us, nothing wrong in it. The best thing to do is strike a right balance between your social life and academics.


Q. I am a BE 3rd year student. The problem I want to discuss is regarding my friend. We are very good friends from 1st year. At then I was having a concern respect about him (which is always there in every relationship) because he is good at heart, helping, artistic, topper, has good reading, leadership skills. But as time passed by he has changed his habits. Now on each weekend he visits a bar and drinks a lot. He is a regular drinker now. We all friends are very tensed about this. We tried all ways to convince him but he is out of ours hold. We are thinking to discuss this matter with his parents, but are hesitating since he is whimsical. What should I do? I can’t see my friend ruining life.

Ans. He may be becoming an alcoholic. Study the signs and in that case you might need professional help. Alcoholism is a little difficult to treat by your-self because of withdrawal symptoms and hence needs medical help. You can try and divert him by making his focus shift to other things that may interest him. Try and reason out with him logically penning down the pros and cons of drinking. However, if he still does not heed to your advice or respect your concern, then leave it at that for some time. Sometimes, pushing it too far may work against you, so try after a few weeks in that case. Otherwise suggest a few sessions of counselling to him.


Q. I have recently perceived that I have a one track mind problem, as if I completely get lost in one question, problem or whatever I am doing such that I constantly think about it and in the flow forget to do a lot of thing. Well, I can say that I can definitely relate myself to The movie “The secret life of Walter Mitty”. Recently, while giving an interview I was asked a simple question and I was giving the same answer again and again, not wrong but, couldn’t see the perspective of the interviewer. I don`t mind not getting placed but, I really want to change this mind to a versatile and dynamic mind. I really can’t stand with this psychology of one track mind which is affecting my self-confidence and future. Please tell what changes in life style should I bring to change this situation to an open box or out of the box thinking.

Ans. A problem like this is half solved if you have accepted it and are willing to change it. A single-track mind is a habit that you need to break by encouraging new thought processes. Start doing it as an exercise, consciously bring yourself to see normal everyday things with a new perspective and then apply it to all walks of life. It will be difficult but with focused efforts the habit will slowly change. Write down casual events and give three different ways of perceiving each of them. You know you do it, so all that you have to do is make a deliberate effort to inculcate new perspectives at the time you are actually talking to someone. Learn to let go of the illusion that you know it all and consciously try to accommodate others’ views. I am not aware of the film mentioned.

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