“Resolve sibling rivalry”- 25 December 2011


Q. I am a student of class 12th. My main problem is that I am unable to concentrate on studies. Whenever I sit to study after learning a bit, my mind starts thinking about other things. I always try to concentrate but it’s not working. And the second problem is that I am very lazy. I get up late even my friends call me to come college but I go to college late. I am trying to improve but I am unable to do so. Please help me with these problems.

Ans. You seem to be suffering from some kind of psychological problem, may be depression. The symptoms of depression may lead to loss of interest, lack of concentration, low energy levels, etc. You should come for psychological counselling and therapy as soon as possible. Delaying it will only aggravate the situation and lead to further depression. There could be some other problem if it’s not depression. Whatever it is, get it identified and treated so that you move on with your life happily.


Q. I cannot sleep well at night and have disturbances. I feel worried and have some type of fears. I see a ghost like figure at times. Please help me. I stay in hostel and am a shy type of person. I do not have many friends and not very social. I am good in studies but am worried that I will spoil my life.

Ans. There seems to be a fair amount of anxiety and fears in your mind. Seeing a ghost is part of fear. The mind can play tricks and hallucinate at night when the world is in darkness and is asleep. You also state that you are an introvert and that compounds the problem. For, if you were social you could seek the company of friends and be more social in times of stress. It helps to stay with people when you feel scared and worried – it can relieve it to a great extent. But you are facing all your problems alone and that is a difficult proposition. Seek counselling as soon as possible.

XYZ, Raipur

Q. My mother does not like me as much as my younger brother. She does not care for me much. I am losing my concentration in studies as a result and feel angry very much. My mother scolds me a lot and keeps nagging me. What should I do?

Ans.  It is unfortunate that your mother discriminates between you and your brother. You should be treated equally by your mother. Sometimes in our society a boy child is valued more than a girl child. You may be a victim of societal attitudes or you may be victim of your mother’s biases and prejudices. It is also possible that she may have some other issues with you. It would be a good idea to ask her what her problem is with you so that you could try to live up to her expectations. She may not like your behaviour or some other aspect of your personality? We do not know the exact nature of her problem towards you. It is also possible that you imagine it that way and feel jealous of your brother? In this case you should investigate your emotions towards your brother and resolve them. Sibling rivalry is a natural phenomenon and needs to be taken care of. It can upset you and your near and dear ones. I hope you are treating your younger brother with love and care and not making him a target of your frustrations with your mother. Do take care and seek counselling at some time to sort out your mind. Wish you all the best.

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