Q. I feel very lonely. I cannot live this way. My friends tell me I am in depression. How to know madam that I am in depression? I am a student of final year and will start working next year. I am a good student and want to make a good career for me and my family. My father died when I was small and my mother worked hard to bring us up- my brother and me are very close but we fight a lot also. All the time I feel sad and need someone with me. I think I cannot live alone and then how will I work and lead a happy life. Please help me madam.
Ans. Yes, you do seem to show symptoms of depression. Feeling lonely at all times, needing someone with you most times, feeling sad generally, and also fighting frequently are signs of depression. Your concern about living alone when you get to work is a serious one and it is important for all to have the ability to live alone if the situation arises. Generally no one likes to live alone and we like to live in company of others but at some point of time you may have to live it by yourself. Do come for a few sessions of counselling so that we can help you get rid of your depression and also help build your strengths and mental resources to face the challenges of life boldly. I am sure we can solve your problem.
Q. My son has a peculiar habit of hurting himself with a knife or a sharp object. He has many marks on his body at different places. We showed it to the doctor and he gave some medicines too. Does he need counselling? We live in a town away from Nagpur and travelling will be difficult. He is also unwilling to come with us. He gets angry and starts shouting a lot. He is losing interest in studies and sleeps a lot. He likes to stay at home most times. Please guide us.
Ans. Your son is showing signs of emotional disturbance and counselling helps a lot in unravelling the underlying causes of the disturbance. He indulges in what is generally called as ‘self injurious behaviour’ or ‘self harm’. He likes to inflict pain and harm on himself –he may be in depression, anxiety and something more than that too. He gets angry too and also sleeps a lot according to you. Medicines are useful and necessary in such situations but the process of psychotherapy and counselling is important too, for medicines don’t talk back to you and understand your problems. It works on the bio-chemical level and sorts out many things but in any mental health problem the personality too gets impacted. In other words, your thought process, your emotions and your actions even get affected with the illness which is addressed by psychotherapy alone. Do seek an appointment and you will witness the benefits.
Q. I am married for 15 years now. I have two children and they are very nice kids. I am okay in my life except for my husband who has started drinking too much recently. He does not tell his problems and keeps drinking. He is a good man and a good father to children. He does not beat or shout like men do but is polite and quiet. But if I stop him from drinking he now tells me not to disturb him. I don’t know what the problem is with him. Please explain to me madam – what should I do?
Ans. It is nice to know that your husband has a good nature and is a good human being by being a good husband and a father. But his recent excessive drinking is changing his nature and is beginning to worry you. This could have a few explanations and you could explore them further. The first one is to find out about his circle of friends with whom he has started drinking and the second is find out is he has got into financial debts /loans or has alternately given loans to his friends who are not returning the money now. This means he is either in loans or losses. The third reason could be an affair with a woman- which could be a recent phenomenon- such things can start anytime in life. Be careful how you investigate things but do try to find out the reasons for the change in his behaviour.