“Torture of wrong career choices”- 7 April 2013


Q. My father has really spent a big fat amount for that coaching. My best friend have left that coaching and she joined the old class where I used to be in 10th and that class is only for maths- my father admitted me in other coaching for boards as this ‘famous class’ don’t teach boards only JEE! Yesterday I asked my dad that I want to leave that ‘famous coaching’- he was very angry at me. I told him that I want to join old maths class as I have problem in maths for boards. I said him that I want to quit for jee but he said for good college I have to give jee exam. I am really very confused what should I do – if I quit jee then I will score good marks in boards, if I don’t then I’ll not be able to get good marks in boards as well as jee..!! 
I really did not understood anything in that famous classes- I mean some parts but in the end I got very low ranks. I really have a problem with one of the faculty- that sir is very strict and I am very scared of him. I don’t understand anything in his class. When he starting teaches my heads pains a lot. I feeling like running out of his class.  If I really quit that class and if that CEO is not ready to return any money then my dad’s 1 lakh will get waste!! I really don’t know what to do. My dad is not listening to me. He says that I have to continue there. I really feel to suicide- finally I have to make a decision. I am really a confused person. Everything is a mess in my life. Please help me and tell me what should I do. I really do have any time left.

Ans. This is an extremely unfortunate situation. There may be many parents like your father and many students like you who are being tortured due to the irrational and unscientific attitudes of their parents. You should have taken an aptitude test and the counselling session with parents for we explain the pros and cons of taking subjects for which you do not have the aptitude. Even now you should come with parents for an aptitude and career counselling. If you do not like the subjects and do not enjoy them you should opt for something else. There are hundreds of careers one can think of and make a living and a life. Your father’s decision and attitude is not doing any good to you. However, before you leave your coaching classes you must know what alternative you have after boards. So think hard, plan and then decide to quit. A session will help.

S. G

Q. I am 24 year old guy preparing for civil service exam. I cleared Bank PO and couple of competitive exams but did not join as I wanted to give serious try to CS. Two years ago I came to know that one girl of my batch during graduation to whom I liked have the same feeling for me. We both confessed to each other. Soon it started affecting my studies, so I decided to quit the relationship and informed her about it. We decided we will continue our relationship as good friends. Few days ago, I came to know that she got engaged to 30 year old IT professional. I am shocked as she did not tell me about that. She could have informed me about that. I feel that it was right decision on my part not to waste time on her. But now I am feeling bad and low as I lost her. But my career is more important to me. Please suggest what should I do? Shall I talk to her?

Ans. You should continue to focus on your career and allow the girl to make her choices. She has decided not to wait for you and to go ahead and marry someone so senior to her. This is strange as both of you are young and could have waited for each other. Perhaps you did not communicate things to her properly. Perhaps she was getting impatient and her family may be pressurising her. We do not know the absolute truth. Let her go, free her from your mind. Make a good career first and find a nice girl for yourself afterwards. You need not talk to her.

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