“Understand your mind”- 6 April 2014
Q. I am 27 year old and I have completed my engineering final year but I have 16 backlogs. Recently I heard CPL, I am so much interested on it. But I am so much confuse what to do? Shall I quit the engineering and go for CPL or not. Please help me what to do? On the other hand my parents so much worried about me.
Ans. What is the full form of CPL? Whatever it may be it sounds a bit too adventurous to drop engineering at the last stage and switch to another course. Even if you have 16 backlogs you can complete your degree, qualify as a graduate and proceed for other studies. Your parents have enough resons to worry about you as you are already 27 and still stuck with your graduation. Wonder what is stopping you from finishing your degree programme- it is a wrong choice to get into engineering, or was other careless factors such as attitudes and behaviour. Whatever may be the reasons please complete your degree course and then do what appeals to you. You should look forward to earning your livelihood too. A session of counselling may help identify the reasons for your delayed process of success.
Q. I am doing a course since four years and I am not able to pass the exams. I am frustrated with it though it was my dream to see myself there. I had another dream which I want to do now. My mind is not stable and my parents are irritated with me. They say my attitude is wrong. I don’t know why I am like this. Please help me. Do I have a psychological problem and do I need counselling? Will it help?
Ans. Yes, you may be helped with some sessions of counselling and therapy. There are many aspects of the mind that are unknown to oneself and can be identified and understood by mental health professionals. You say your mind is not stable and you get irritated soon and your parents feel your attitudes are wrong. Allow me to help you with self awareness and analysis and suggest some remedies too. Bring your parents along with you if possible.
Q. I have a boyfriend from many years who loves me a lot and cares for me. He is a very nice person. But I think there is someone else in my life. He is a simple boy and he follows me everywhere. I have told him many times not to follow me as I am engaged though not officially. But he refuses to listen to me. He says he loves me and wants to marry me. I am not knowing what to do and I am totally confused. I don’t know my feelings. For these many years I was alright with my boy friend but now I am not so alright. Something is going on in my mind. What it is I don’t know. Can you help me please.
Ans. Yes, of courses we can help you. The mind is a complex entity and dynamic too. It keeps changing and growing up. Perhaps your boy friend has lost out on some counts and the other fellow is catching your fancy. It may be just a fantasy that the other guy follows you around and appears much more romantic than your boy friend which has not become a part of your steady life. There are many factors that can come into play here. I can imagine a few, such as this new experience is more interesting and exciting, as the old becomes steady and comfortable. The new guy giving you much more attention than your BF, the new guy having some different qualities that you find missing in your BF and such things. You would need to seriously undergo some psychological analysis and get clear about your priorities before you mess it all up. It would help you to know yourself, your needs and your compatibility quotient with your partner as you consider marriage with him.