The year 2013 they say is a stressful year for women in particular. More women than men report stress in general. The reasons could be many and varied. Women with jobs and families are finding it difficult to do justice to both on an equal basis. Either one area suffers relatively. And we all know what takes a backseat. Women want to work and realise their talents and make full use of their education and do justice to their selves. With the growth of women’s education aspirations of women are growing too and naturally.
My niece who worked in an advertisement company in Mumbai did a silent study of the women achievers in the organisation and realised to her surprise that practically all of them (around 25 of them) who were in significant positions were either single, separated or divorced. That was an eye opener for her as it sort of made her anxious about her career aspirations as she realised that her husband, child and family was very important for her. Her grumbling about her desire to achieve higher success in her career declined out of fear. She wanted both –her career as well as her family. She also realised that they were two sisters and had no brother and her parents needed her in bad times as well. Men, chauvinistic ones, would love to say that women achievers are ruthless and aggressive and love to destroy families and are happy being single, separated and divorced. I would absolutely disagree. Such men would obviously blame the women for this situation for putting their careers on equal priority as their personal lives. Such men perhaps see a lot of their own selves in such women as they strive for professional excellence and achievement. Such perceptions are to a large extent subjective as you see what you think and you tend to project your own hidden and known emotional needs on to others.
I would say that it is unfortunate that women have to compromise on one part of their lives, either professional or personal if they are to remain happy. Either they choose to make good careers and pay a heavy price with their personal lives or they lower down their ambitions and stay married. Why cannot women do both efficiently when they have enough talent, aptitude and energy is the big question? Every sane woman knows the answer that the men in their lives do not cooperate for reasons known to them and to us too! Women end up paying a heavy price for the realisation of their natural talents and get blamed for it too.
My professor of Psychology who was single and successful always loved to repeat a phrase ‘I am not a kitchen queen’ she would say with glee. Go help yourself in the kitchen serve yourself she would say as we would visit her home where we were always welcome. It was a warm and positive house and she would be in cheerful spirits. She dedicated her life for the promotion of psychology and inspired us to do the same. We never felt that she might have ever felt guilty or victimised as a person. She chose her path and walked it confidently. That is how it should be.
But again why should women be penalised for wanting good careers? There is a small crop of women achievers who are happily married as well. I am sure their husbands belong to a different breed altogether. Their husbands are men who push promote and rejoice the success of their spouses. They have positive self esteem and evolved minds. They do not experience insecurities and jealousies about their spouse’s achievement. They are a minority few. That is why such women keep expressing their gratitude to their men folks and keep praising them. They deserve it all for being what they are- evolved human beings.
Evolution is a process of growth and development of the mind and body. A finer human being would fine tune all his or her qualities and work towards development of virtues. They would learn to appreciate all good things in life, do away with darker sides of their mind and would aspire for God like qualities or those that take you nearer to the Almighty. That is the only path to tread ultimately.