“Accept the reality”- 2 April 2023

WR, Bhopal.

Q. I am in not good condition and don’t know what to do. My children don’t listen to me and do not study well to get good marks. My wife keeps blaming me for all problems whether they are true or not. I belong to another state and stay in Bhopal. My wife too belongs to a different city. We have no family here with us for support. I feel lonely and sad. I am doing my work but not with full energy. Please help me. Do you conduct online sessions?

Ans. Yes, I take online and offline sessions. You can book it on my website, www.manodaya.org or calling us. You would need a few sessions to straighten out your mental worries and confusions. Your marriage relationship doesn’t seem to be mutually supportive and harmonious. If your wife blames, you for everything then she is an immature person. At least one parent has to be strong and sturdy to face and handle the challenges. Your children also are not doing well. Often when parents are in conflict and emotional turmoil, children get unsettled and insecure. They may begin to perform poorly in school and misbehave with parents at home. You and your wife need to discuss this, join hands and solve the problems by taking charge of the situation.

Best friend, Nagpur.

Q. I am worried for my best friend. We love each other and have been together since childhood. Our families are also good friends and we live close-by. Now the recent problem is that she has joined a college in a far-away state and I am stuck here in the same city. Her calls have reduced and we had promised each other that we will keep in touch like before. All negative thoughts come to my mind and I think that she has forgotten me, she has made new friends and she does not want me anymore. She should tell me everything about her life and she is not doing that. Why is she hiding from me? What is she hiding from me? Please help me.

Ans. It often happens in the growing up years when you get out of home and hometown and get into a new city, you get introduced to a brand new world of experiences and people. The new college, new culture, new atmosphere, new people, new course of study can be overwhelming and exciting as well. It is a stressful time to adapt to the new situations and make new friends to survive. The normal process of adaptation is not easy and consumes a lot of time and energy. If you keep supporting your friend and listening to her without being impatient and judgemental, she will continue her friendship with you. If you act possessive and egoistic, she may get irritated with you for your demands will burden her further and trouble her. It may be normal for you to feel lonely and lost without her but you will have to face the reality and accept it.      

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