“Evaluate the problem”- 19 March 2023

ABC, Raipur.

Q. My mother underwent a surgery of her leg and since then we feel that she is not feeling too good about her life. We think she is depressed and demotivated toward life. She had a fall from the bed at night and injured herself. She seems to have lost her confidence. She is afraid to walk even when the doctor says she is fine. When we talk about counselling she refuses. Please advise.

Ans. She can be greatly helped by counselling. Many people can get into an emotional disturbance after a fall from bed at midnight and ensuing surgery. A short –term rehabilitation program will put her back on her feet and her confidence. Firstly, she needs a good physiotherapist who can come home for two weeks to a month. Then she should continue at the physiotherapy center where she will have to travel to and fro the center and meet other people too. Secondly, a few sessions of counseling to help her with her fear of falling while walking and gaining confidence in being on her feet. She must become independent and self-reliant. She should not slip into complacency and give up. Both psychotherapy and physiotherapy can be started together. It would show faster results. Start with whatever she agrees to. Don’t force but keep coaxing her. Don’t give up your efforts!


Q. I have a problem with my wife. I do not know why she misunderstands everything that I say. Even when I make a simple suggestion to her she takes it negatively. She does not like to meet people and does not like if I want to invite people home. Life with her is becoming very stressful and full of arguments and fights. I’m not thinking about separation or divorce but I want to solve the problem. Is there any good solution do it? Please guide me.

Ans. In most marriages, the problem either in one or two areas. The first is a difference in personalities, habits, and lifestyle. You may be a social person and she may be a less social or introverted person. She may prefer being alone while you like company of friends. This leads to incompatibility and needs an adjustment from both sides. A proper dialogue will help seek a balance between your and her needs. In other words, an open communication will help. The second problem is marriages could be a mild mental health issue in one spouse which goes unnoticed but needs correction. Mental health problems come in the form of personality disorders, depression, anxiety and poor coping strategies to handle the challenges of a marriage. If you come for a session of counselling, an evaluation of the primary problem in the marriage can be done.

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