Achievement is attractive – 23rd February 2020


“Achievement is attractive”


Q. Hey madam just now I read your article on emotions in insight by hitavada I was quite felling good after reading that… The reason to write this mail is
That I was having a friend and she was a girl and she was senior to me we met in tuition and after few months we became best friends not as girlfriend and boyfriend but as a best friends we were sharing all what happen today and all through social media and few times we had met in tuition today she is in college and I am in turion only since she is senior to me we were good friends but suddenly before the JEE advance exams we were have a quarrel…. That day I call her to ask how her paper had gone….and I don’t know she was very angry and whenever she is angry she says anything to anyone
She was angry due to her another friend from next branch of our tution…….. And from that time we don’t have any talk and gossips etc….I tried to contact her.but she had blocked me on what’s app Facebook and Instagram also……..I was so attached to her so now I had got distracted from my studies how to handle all this distraction I am not getting….. And the thing is I can’t concentrate more as I was. Concentrating before she was….Mam can u please tell me how to concentrate and make her side from my brain for 2 months please I request you.

Ans. If you are appearing for JEE Advance then it is better for you to concentrate on exams and your future. Your friend being in college has stepped into a new life, so to say, for college brings a new set of challenges and responsibility. She must be trying to adapt to the new circumstances. The other possibility is that the quarrel has upset her a great deal and hence she has blocked you from all sites. Sometimes when you cannot handle the stress from all sides, it is a better option to block out the world and be quiet. It is disturbing for others who are concerned (like you) about her but for her it may be a better choice. You should stop worrying for such relationship issues for conflict in any relationship is inevitable and also may be temporary. Sometimes people come back and apologise and sometimes they don’t. if you trouble her too much, she will be more offended. If you leave her alone, she may re-think and contact you. Give her space and time and meanwhile focus on achievement. Success and achievement are very attractive to all and others like to make friends with you if you succeed and do well. If you don’t achieve people dislike you and run away. So, nothing succeeds like success they say and there is a great deal of truth in it. Make yourself strong and confident and attractive to others. Make your life meaningful. Don’t worry for small losses.


Q. Madam, this friend I have keeps changing his mind -he is mine and he is not mine- I don’t know what he wants. I am going crazy with this guy. I blocked him one time and he was crying and telling all my friends about me. Now what should I do? He says he wants to marry me and another time he goes away and says his parents won’t agree. Then he ignores me for some time and then again he is back. This has happened twice.

Ans. Such inconsistency in behaviour speaks loudly about his personality which is certainly unstable. When you cannot be sure about what the fellow thinks and speaks and acts how can you trust him in the long run. Do not invest too much energies in such people and although you can still speak to him if you like, drop him from your list of special friends. Don’t take him seriously and don’t meet him personally and spend time with him. A short chat on phone once in a while should be enough. He does not deserve more attention. When you give attention to people you give them power over you. They begin to dominate your mind and life. Don’t allow anyone to dictate you in any way. Friendships and suggestions are fine but decision and control should lie with you.


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