Addiction can be cure- 24th November 2019


“Addiction can be cure”


Q. I am a 16 year old girl studying in class 11. My brother has been smoking since past 5-6 months and it’s been getting tough for my parents to handle him. He doesn’t listen to anyone and always act as he wants to.. Plzz help

Ans. He must be addicted to it by now if he is going the way you describe it. If it just an occasional smoke say a couple of times a week with his friends it is not addiction but if it is a daily habit and smokes more than, let’s say, two a day, then he is addicted to it. If your parents cannot handle him then he must be rebelling against them for some reasons that might have happened in the past. Send him to me for counselling and if he does not agree send your parents and you come along with them. It is good of you to be concerned as a sister and you can help him if parents cannot. Your parents could start with discontinuing his pocket money (I assume he is in college and hence a student) and being strict about it. Also your parents should ask him to earn his own money by doing part time job and then blowing it away on smoke. Some measures need to be taken by parents for sure.


Q. Greetings to you maam. I am a class 12th student currently pursuing commerce stream with my aim to enter into SRCC or any college in the top 5 list for further studies. I had a nice group of friends in 11th std. and we used to have a lot of fun together and didn’t take our studies seriously at all. But it’s 12th now and our whole future depends on this year and I feel that it’s high time now that we start working towards our goals. But my aforementioned group of friends is not serious at all and is always into some kind of mischief or the other. They don’t think twice before passing rude comments on teachers or insulting other classmates. They are also into several bad habits like cigarette and hukah smoking and stuff. They are financially pretty sound and hence have no such pressure for entering into a good college or university. But I want to pursue my dreams and achieve my goals which is being hindered by their behaviour and constant time wastage. But when I try to distance myself from this bad influence, they remind me of all the good times that we have had in 11th std. and this prevents me from getting away from this vicious environment. I am confused and in want of help and motivation to overcome this problem and I sincerely hope that you would please be a guiding light in this matter for me. Thanking you.

Ans. The only and right thing to do is to distance yourself from them. You could inform them in a light hearted manner that you are going to vanish for a year or so and if they still don’t listen then you might have to be loud about it and face the consequences. Friends are good to have and cherish but if they become an hindrance to your career goals then they need to be kept aside. Know your priorities and get going in the right path. Pleasure of meeting them and enjoying their company at this moment is temporary and not long term. Anything that is detrimental to your growth and development needs to be kept aside. You are aiming high and that needs commitment and dedication and sacrifice of course. Be polite but assert yourself with them.

Lina Varghese

Q. I Had Affair With A Boy On Social Media, But Suddenly My Bf Started Avoiding Me,I Observed He Is Again With His Ex When Asked He Blocked Me.I Understood Practically Hence Deleted My Insta Account To End Up All Ties&Moveon.Now After 4Months I Made New Account(Didn’t Informed My Ex) But I’m Receiving Many Fake Follow Requests Objectionable Messages Like-Are You Single/Dating Etc.I Doubt My Ex Is Doing!Am I Right?!

Ans. You could be and that’s just a hunch or a guess. He could be asking his friends to harass you and trouble you. Instead of getting paranoid about it why don’t you log off for some months and sit quiet and once they get put off you could start again if you feel the need to do so. Many youngsters and elders too (!) are there for fun and many times people find fun in activities like ragging, teasing, bullying, trolling, and such perverse activities which are harmful, non-productive and suggest a sick mind. So take your own decision about your priorities in life and log off the social media. You will not miss anything in your life – in fact you will gain.


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