“Nothing succeeds like success”
Q. Mam I m a 16 ur old girl of class 11 actually I overthink a lot, makes scenarios of which I like that thing to happen or thinking of the lovely moments which has happened in the past and this is disturbing me a lot I can’t concentrate in my studies and also I sleep a lot. I don’t have good friends this also disturbs me a lot actually the thing is idk but people avoid me please suggest me something which can help me I live in jabalpur I can’t come to Nagpur.
Ans. Over thinking and imagining situations of the future (reflecting your desires) and refreshing the good moments of the past is what you are describing as your state of mind. People avoid you and you don’t have good friends is another reality of concern to you. Well, sometimes a simple solution to this complex sounding problem could be to get into ‘action mode’ and get yourself engaged in activities of your interest. Make a list of things you would enjoy doing to some extent even if not greatly, such as walking, cycling, music, dancing, cooking, etc, which you should start immediately. Exercising is a very good option. Too much thinking can be offset by actions and routine tasks. Also focus on career making and not on friends, although they are important and necessary, it is not something you cannot do away with. Let people avoid you if they want to for once you succeed in studies and career everyone gets attracted to you. Nothing succeeds like success they say, which is true. I wish you all the best in future.
Q. There is always fighting in my house and that is why I can’t study properly in home. My studies are serious and I am preparing for NEET exams and I think I will fail due to the fighting between family members. My brothers wife and my mother clash over small things and many times in the day. I want to run away somewhere and sit peacefully and make a good career. I am serious about becoming a doctor, it is my dream since childhood. I have many doctors in my large family and I am proud of them. My cousin brothers are very good but one ‘bhabhi’ creates trouble for us, she gets conflicted with my mother and it seems endless.
Ans. One solution is to find some space in a college library or a coaching centre which will allow you to sit and study in peace. Many college libraries have the facility of allowing students to study full day and keep your books safely too. Another way is to request for a separate room in the house, if possible, and to lock yourself in the room for the day. Come to the common area only for meals and for short breaks. Request your mother to not narrate her woes to you and to solve her problems with the help of other family members. I understand your studies are serious and huge and I appreciate the fact that you are determined to pursue your course of study to succeed. I like your dedicated aim to become a doctor and you must try your best to achieve it. Detach yourself from the family and get into a meditative mood for studies.
Q. I am a regular reader of your column Emotions and an admirer too. In queries section frequently people complaints that they feel lonely or are disturbed due to the material life problems and ask for your advice. You must be advising meditation to few of them who come to you personally. I would like to draw your attention to a very efficacious and very easy meditation practice called Heartfulness. I am a Heartfulness meditation practitioner since last 22 years and also one of the Heartfullness trainers in Nagpur. Heartfuless was introduced in India by a Yogi some 100 years ago. It was formally instituted in 1945 to make it spread to maximum people around the world. Today Heartfulness has a presence in more than 130 countries around the world. Heartfulness is completely non-commercial organisation and is absolutely free for life long practice. There are many trainers available in and around Nagpur. Seekers may reach out to the nearest trainer by visiting heartfulness.org. Thanks and regards.
Ans. I am publishing your letter for the benefit of people. Thank you for your initiative of writing to me about helping people with a practice named Heartfulness. I am actually unaware of it and have never heard about it. If it has been operative for a century and giving relief to people, it must be a good method to learn and practice. Of course we have our own brand of meditative practices and this could be a welcome addiction.