“Avoid disastrous distractions”- 5 April 2015.


Q. I am an 18 year old girl. Recently I appeared for 12th board exams and now preparing for JEE. I have a crush on a guy who was my classmate in 12th, but I am not able to tell him because I am afraid of rejection.  Every day and night I just think about him. I feel very depressed and unable to concentrate on anything. Even I am afraid of my board results. My parents are expecting a lot from me. I think that I should remain single but sometimes I feel so lonely and need someone in my life. I intensely like him but worried about my future. Please help me.

Ans. You must control your emotions and do not express them at this stage. You have exams in front of you and a long way to go. This can be a disastrous distraction and diversion from your goals. Your thoughts are private to you and keep them to yourself. Do not let him know. You might just disturb him too and nothing will come out of it. If you can just say hi to him since he is your classmate is fine but not your feelings for him. You never know he might just not ever talk to you because he will be shocked. Be a good girl and be sensible too.  Don’t get carried away by your emotions. Such feelings and attractions do happen in teenage but they are to be checked severely.


Q. I am 18 years old. I am in 1st year(MBBS). I am feeling that I would get failed in university exams as I got failed in terms just by few marks. Due to this fear I am unable to study and get disturbs by just thinking that even studying much I would get fail. And this worry make me stressed. I also think that my each n every day events suggest me that I am going to fail in university exams.  Please suggest me that how could I get over it.

Ans. This happens to most students that you get worried about your exams. But your level of anxiety seems to be a bit higher than usual. This is not good at all as you cannot study in an emotional state of mind. You will have to learn to control your anxiety and be positive about yourself. Train yourself in the art of simple meditation and anxiety control exercises and focus yourself on studies. If you cannot do that yourself seek a session and we can help you train your mind. But it is important to get out of anxiety and be positive and absolutely relaxed and calm if you are to study well and pass which you can.


Q. Again I need your help. My life is still such a mess. I have made many mistakes in past but my family members keep reminds me about those mistake. The more I try to forget those mistakes and try to Change my life the more I fail. I don’t know what to do. I really
want to do my best but I couldn’t. Because I am stuck in people who have already made these judgements about me, it’s nothing like I am not motivated I just need my family support too, to understand me.

Ans. This again shows a weakness in you. You must learn the art of surviving in all odds. Even if no one in the world supports you, you have to learn to rely on your own judgements about yourself. If you value yourself and believe that you have good qualities to make it in life then stick to that belief under all circumstances and never let it waver. People may be kind and people may be rude but you have yourself to support you. If you go against self then you become your own enemy for you begin to believe things about yourself that others portray about you. That is not the true picture for whatever mistakes you have made in the past have come to your realisation and you want to leave them behind and move on with good things. But your family seems to be unforgiving and keeps reminding you about them. Well, it is a challenging time and come on live up to it to prove yourself that you have the guts and the courage.


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