“Get back to boys and books”- 29 March 2015.

M.A

Q): I am a 22-year-old guy, leading a happy life. One day I felt that I was behaving like a drunkard; but in reality, I was not drunk at all. This feeling lasted for 10-15 minutes. I visited a doctor, who did a thorough check-up and said that I was normal. I am not under stress. Some relatives said that I’m ‘possessed’. When I visit holy places, where drums are beaten or aartis are performed, my behaviour changes and I become a drunkard again. Also, my voice becomes coarse. This happens with me mostly during the Navratri festival. Please let me know whether I have some kind of problem.

A): It is a strange symptom that you mention, as it does not fit into anything apparent. I would need more details to understand the problem. I cannot think of any explanation with the little description you have given. It might be a good idea to visit and consult me once. We might find an explanation to your behaviour and the changes you experience temporarily. Even if there is no problem there has to be an explanation to it.

Anonymous.

Q): I am a doctor and was in love with a medico for 4 years. He told me that if his parents agreed, then only we’d get married. I am two years elder to him and both of us are settled in our careers. His parents are orthodox and were ready for our engagement last year. But after our engagement, they started troubling me over petty issues. A month prior to our wedding, his father asked for dowry. We called off the engagement, but I’m unable to forget him. I still love him and keep thinking about a life together. I am too depressed and feel like committing suicide. He has stopped talking to me since the last five months. Why did he ditch me like this?  

A): It appears that the boy does not have the courage to oppose his parents and thus was not able to withstand the pressure that his parents must have exerted on him. Since he is still struggling to make a career, he must be financially dependent on them too. So emotional pressure and financial needs must have weighed on his mind and he ditched you. In such situations, we could assume that he did not cheat you as such, for you both did get engaged but his parents played foul by asking for dowry and creating trouble for you. When the pressures began to pile up he must have decided to back out. Perhaps it is good for you in the long run for you would have been unhappy with such a person at some point or the other due to his weaknesses and also due to the culture of his parents. You have had a bitter taste of it. So better alone than with people like this. Destiny might have something better for you in future. Have faith in yourself and your life. Be positive.

M.S

Q): I am in class 12 and I have been in a relationship with a girl since the last three years. We both love each other a lot. The problem is that she got shifted to Nagpur last year. None of us is able to concentrate on studies. People at her place know about us, while at my place, only my father knows about our relationship. I keep thinking about her most of the time. Her parents have confiscated her cellphone and that is why we are unable to talk to each other. I feel too frustrated and I cannot leave her. She is my first love. Please tell me ways in which I can divert my attention towards something else. I sometimes feel insure too.

A): This is what emotions do to your mind. They create havoc, create unrest and disturb your studies. Try to calm your mind and relax it. Do vigorous exercises and sports to drain the emotions and channelise them in healthy ways. Think of her as just a friend and nothing more. It is all in the mind. Do not allow your thoughts and emotions to hijack you and your mind. Remember it is in your control. The way you think and the way you react affects your mind. So think of good thoughts, banish romantic emotional content and be happy and peaceful. It is healthy to have friends and yet maintain a distance from them especially with the opposite gender. Never allow yourself the liberty to fall in love at such an age. It is sheer luxury that you can ill afford. Get back to boys and books.