“Bad behaviour destroys relations”- 2 September 2012

N. D

Q. I am a 21 yrs old engineering student. I have a psychological problem which always breaks my confidence. My mind always wanders here and there and don’t live in present. Many times I do mistakes and after mistakes my mind gets disturbed and series of mistakes start happening, due to this feeling of inferiority comes in my mind which totally break me. Many times in my friend circle when friends do jokes and they laugh then I come to know that my mind was wandering somewhere. Sometimes even a loud horn becomes inaudible to me because of absence of my mind. Please help me to come out of this…..

Ans. A few sessions of counselling would help you identify the primary reasons for all this confusion in your mind. It would also help you sort them out and develop a better personality which is so important for healthy living. You do not seem to be enjoying life at all in spite of being a student of a professional degree course. Also just a degree will not help you achieve success in your job and career. You would need a tough personality to pave your way through the difficult path that is life. Instead of brooding and worrying get help as fast as you can and put your life on track. Psychological problems need psychological solutions.

M. T

Q. I am an MBBS Student. I got admission in 2010. I have not passed 1st year up till now even I tried my best. I am in relationship with a girl from my batch from a year. She still loves me. We never merged our personal life and professional life. My family know about my relationship, they are blaming her for my failure. My family is not supportive in my
failure. My mind is very tense. Sometimes I have thoughts of suicide. Please Help me.

Ans. Failures can become a vicious cycle if you get stuck into it. Failure leads to frustration and depression and also loss of social face and esteem. Family too gets disturbed and frustrated with your condition and distance themselves from you. The best solution is to focus on your primary goal which is to study well and build a career. Relationships at this stage are always a secondary issue and cannot be the primary aim of life. You should also analyse the reasons for your failure and work on dealing with them. If you cannot complete a career in medicine which also includes a post graduate degree then think hard for an alternative or come for career planning and guidance. Be optimistic about life and look forward towards a better future. There is always hope at the end of the tunnel.


Q. I am studying in MCA-final. My uncle’s home is near to my college. They have one daughter studying in BE-3rd year. Exact 1 year ago (28th august) I went to her home and we met first time. We become good friends after that but actually I have seen her two years ago in my sister’s marriage. And I have fallen in love with her. Once I proposed her but she is neither replied on that nor said no. But due to stupid emotions and impatience I always used bad manners and we fought without any reason. But one day I have crossed limit and said vulgar words to her “you are fooling me, playing with my heart etc. From that day we have broken up friendship. I am always messaging her, saying sorry. I want her friendship but don’t know what should I do to outcome from this situation. And also neither I can go her home nor I have contact with her friends to correct these problem..

Ans. Bad behaviour destroys relationships. You must have learnt this lesson by now. Work on improving your behaviour and your weaknesses. Seek help from a psychologist if required. Tell her that you are trying to improve yourself and will meet her only when you become a better person and she will like you then. Tell her that losing her has been your punishment and that you are sorry. Tell her that you value her friendship but will never force her to be your friend. Then leave her alone and focus on your personality and its development. Complete your studies well and get into a good job. If she realises that you are really trying hard and are truly repentant she will come back to you. Maybe..

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