Q. I met with an accident last month. I am feeling better now. But since two weeks I am getting nightmares. It feels like, I will again experience such accidents in near future. I fear future. I don’t feel like getting out of bed else some accident will happen. I tried to drive my car this morning, but when I was on steering, it felt like I will dash it somewhere. I don’t feel confident enough, when it comes to deal with speed, time and distance at one time. My daughter is also getting affected with my behaviour. I did share this with my wife. She feels I will be normal as time will pass. Still since 3-4 days, fear is getting intense and feels that some accident is near. Please help.
Ans. This is typically an anxiety disorder which has followed the accident. Since it was just last month that you have suffered it is quite recent and may take some time to heal. But it needs to be taken care of. All persons who undergo accidents do not experience such anxiety nightmares and loss of confidence for so long as they brave it out and push themselves out of the trauma. Your condition is different as the fear has become intense and it sort of paralyses you. We could teach you simple relaxation exercises to control the anxiety and panic attacks and you would be fine. You need to talk to your mind and train it to be positive. Do not delay in seeking counselling if conditions persist.
Q. I am in love with a boy. I never told him, but still it feels like he feels the same, since he protects me. He is elder to me. For the very first time, it feels like I have some close connection with boy. I don’t crave for him. I feel safe in his company. My nature is reserve, I never felt like talking to any boy. His presence makes me feel more responsible, happier. I want to trust him, as I feel he has best intentions towards me. Should I trust him or let go? My instincts say he is perfect person for me. Please help.
Ans. It would be better and wiser not to jump to any conclusions so fast. Take it easy and enjoy the pure friendship without getting into thinking of a long term ‘perfect partner’. That is when heartaches start. He seems to be a good person and you could trust him with some things and not with all things. For example, you may not go out with him alone if he asks you in future, you may not do things for him if you disagree with it and such precautions. Do not throw all discretion to the winds about your safety and well being. Take your own decisions, follow your instincts, enjoy his limited company and take enough time to think in any other way other than pure friendship.
Q. My friend has developed a habit of washing his hands again and again. Since a month or so I feel like it is increasing and bothering him into regular life. Two days before I happened to see him check his hair for almost 5 minutes. He is asking me repeatedly, “Are my hands normal?”.”Are my hair normal?” I am concerned about his behaviour. Is this depression or some anxiety? How to help him out? Please help.
Ans. This is a mental illness known as ‘obsessive compulsive disorder’ and would need proper psychological treatment. Medicines also help to reduce the symptoms and help him lead a normal life. And counselling and therapy is equally important in calming his mind down. It is nice to know that you have identified his negative habit in a proper way and is trying to help him. It is good to be educated about psychological maladies so that you can always help others who seem to be in distress. Do encourage treatment to him.
Q. My younger son has habit to listen to same song constantly for long hours. He is 17 now, but I feel listing to same song repeatedly is affecting his brain. His concentration decreases, when he constantly listens to songs. He usually listens to romantic genre. Is something bothering him? Is something abnormal with him? Please help.
Ans. Listening to too many romantic songs is common in teenagers. There is nothing abnormal about him. Find out if he has fallen in love with some girl or has started liking some girl or has a crush or something like that. That is when the appeal of romantic songs begin! It is going to affect his studies and his concentration although his brain will be intact! Nothing will happen to his brain for sure. You need to talk to him about his latest interests and let him share his feelings with you. Be like a friend and talk him out of this new found interest. Get him into involved into a physical sport or a gymnasium. Set higher goals for him in studies as well in life in general. He should be fine. Otherwise a session at some of time may be important.