“Do not be deterred by minor disruptions”- 9 July 2017


Q. It seems one of my closest friend is not sharing healthy friendship with some boy. He is younger to her. I realized this when I saw her messages. Last day her breathe smelled like she had alcohol. Nowadays, she spends most of her time travelling. It feels she goes into outskirts of city. She doesn’t attend tuitions regularly and her attendance has come down to 30%. I fear for her, since these are our main years of career. Whenever I ask her about this person, she tries to change topic and behave suspiciously. Should I tell this to her parents? How can I help her? Please help.

Ans. If she is your close friend you need to shake some good sense into her. She is certainly on the wrong path of getting into bad habits of drinking, travelling aimlessly in the outskirts, bunking classes, etc. First talk to her seriously and then perhaps it is a good idea to inform her mother of the facts. After you do that, leave it to her parents to do the rest and you should get out of the worry and concern otherwise it may affect your mind and moods too. If you get too much involved in her problems you are bound to get distracted and disturbed. So cool off and let her be responsible for her life.


Q. My son scored 92% in 10th standard. He wants to opt for arts stream. He got full marks in maths. He didn’t score well in languages, so I don’t want him to opt for arts field, at least till twelfth. I wish he should go for science field. Since science is going to keep all the branches open for him. If he feels the same after twelfth, then he can readily opt for arts fields as per his wish. Whenever I try to explain him about his career choices, he gets depressed and argues. What should I do? Please help.

Ans. It would help if you bring him for career guidance and counselling. If he was interested in arts and humanities he should have got good marks in those subjects. It would be interesting and meaningful to know why he wants to leave science and get into arts when he has scored full marks in maths. This is confusing indeed! He would need to be listened to and heard about his long term plans. He may have different ideas that are welcome. But it defies logic. You should bring him for a session for we must know the facts and the state of his mind.


Q. I was in engineering second year and suffered tuberculosis. I was hospitalised for almost a month. I had to take 12 months medicines, steroids and vitamins. It’s been a year I have developed fear of failure. I don’t want to attend college. I feel acute weakness. I just don’t feel capable of doing anything, since it causes stress. I feel to drop engineering and want to opt for some light fields. My parents are very supportive. I start crying with just a thought of getting into college. I want to make my career. I am not afraid of hard work and studies. Please help.


Ans. It is great to know that your parents are supportive and that you are on the path of recovery after a year of medicine. You have been cured of the disease and can begin life after this in a very nice way. Firstly, calm your mind and think as much positively as you can. Get back to college and be happy to be back. A year’s failure is not to be taken as a calamity for even students getting ATKT waste a year or two. And you state that you are a hard working person and are serious about making a good career. So you have many good qualities of making a great life even if you have suffered a minor mishap and a disruption in studies. Learn to relax your mind and learn to think positive. Also go slow in everything at college and with your friends. If you cannot manage that a session of counselling may help.

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