“Be prepared for eventualities”- 22 March 2015.

C.S.

Q): I am a Law student from Nagpur. I was in a relationship with a girl since standard 10. She was my first love and we were going steady until I shifted to this city. We had a huge quarrel and then broke up. But I still wanted her back in my life. A few years later, she said that she too loved me dearly, but doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me again. We pretended to be ‘just friends’. I always hoped that she would come back to me, but some more days later, she said that she had developed feelings for somebody else. I decided to break all ties with her, because if she was happy with someone else, then I shouldn’t be interfering in the relationship anymore. Years passed since our break-up but I’m unable to forget her. Her memories keep haunting me everyday. This has left me confused and dejected. Please help me.

A): You could just learn to enjoy your dreams and not take them to heart to trouble yourself. Since she is the only one in your life that you have befriended so far, you think of her. Try and make new friends and look for girls you would be happy with. I don’t mean romantic link-ups but being just friends will help you get rid of your loneliness. Also before sleeping, you could try to meditate and think of the image of God, whom you worship and you feel a difference in your sleep. Not only will you sleep well but you will also dream of the God, whom you have imagined. Please stay focused in life and build a great career.

A.R.

Q): I am 12-years old and I have a boyfriend. I’m good in studies. Almost every student in our school, most of our teachers and his family members have come to know about our relationship. But nowadays, I have started feeling that he is not interested in me like he was previously. I’m too worried about this. When I ask him about his disinterest, he starts giving weird excuses. Please help me and give me tips so that I can win his attention back.

A): He seems to be more sensible than you are. He must have realised that he should concentrate on his studies and not on you and the friendship. You should do the same and concentrate on studies. Also stay in the company of girls and make lots of girl friends. That will give you tremendous happiness and relief from this guy. Leave him to himself and his decisions. Perhaps that is best for both of you.

A.B.

Q): I am a third year paramedical student. When I was in standard 11, I was in a relationship with a guy, whom I never trusted. Due to the same reason, I broke up with him after two years of a steady relationship. A few months ago, I fell in love with another guy and we are in a steady relationship now. He is elder to me and is quite trustworthy. But I don’t know why I feel insecure all the time. I feel that the people I love will leave me in the lurch. Sometimes when he doesn’t reply to my calls, I get terribly upset and this has started to affect my studies as well. He has also introduced me to his parents and has promised to marry me, but I think I am too possessive about him. I don’t know how to deal with this. I feel lonely and isolated when my friends don’t talk to me properly and I always have a feeling that they will leave me forever. Please help me get out of this.

A): You seem to be insecure with relationships and this is not a good trait. You will need to change this state of mind. A few sessions of counselling and psychotherapy will help you probe deeper into your mind and change yourself. Boost your self-image and your self-esteem and think positive about yourself. Always feel confident that you can manage and handle your life well. Be proud of your studies and your other strengths. Always think positive about life but be prepared for eventualities and think that you can handle them well. A woman is capable of leading her own life and is competent to handle anything and everything. That is what education is all about.