Q. I am an engineering student. I met a boy 7 months ago and we are in a relation of 6 months but now we broke up as he don’t want to expose me in front of his friends so no one knows about our relation. He broke up with me and went with another girl. Now I am trying to move on -his friend started talking to me and now he is saying he is not a right guy. What should I do?
Ans. My advice would be to stay away from not-right guys. When he himself is saying that he is not a right guy –it means two things, one, he is making a confession about his true personality and two, he may be hinting that he wants to break off and has had enough of you. Either way what is the point in getting hurt again as history seems to be repeating itself. If you like his company you can maintain a decent friendship but watch out for any further developments. It is better to be safe than to be exploited for your weaknesses.
Q. I had given my final year exams last month and now I want to prepare for GATE for PSU. But sometimes I think I had taken the wrong decision as most of my friends are joining the companies in which they are selected through campus. I am also having offer letters from 3 companies but all these companies are small and I think If I can prepare I can score well in exams. Please tell me is it possible to score best in GATE in these six months with good coaching centre ( I am ready to work as much hard as I can) but don’t know why sometimes I get de-motivated that I can’t do it. Please help me
Ans. Your decision seems to be appropriate and good enough. If your long term goal is to join a PSU, then GATE is the best exam to appear for. You say that the private companies are small and you are confident that you can score well enough for qualifying for the exams. Where is the need for doubt and pessimism –you should go ahead with your plans in full swing. Pray, meditate, keep focused on goals and work hard towards success. Never doubt your capabilities and yourself.
Q. Since few days my anxiety and nervousness is going up and up. People have started noticing it in my office too. I get worried very quickly and feel depressed. I know there are changes showing up in me but I am again I feel afraid of consulting anyone that something is seriously wrong. Please guide me what to do. I cannot share it with anyone and my family keeps me what is wrong and I don’t have the answers. My fear is getting the better of me. Please suggest me something good.
Ans. It is nice to know that you are becoming aware of your problems and are keen to sort them out. This is the first step to helping yourself –to acknowledge that you have a problem that needs to be addressed. The next step is to identify the symptoms that are arising on a certain frequency, maybe daily or many times a day or once a week and so on. The third step is to identify the sources of stress, which are called the stressors, in your life whether they belong to your personal life or professional life or social circle. Once we identify the stressors you can now arrive at solutions to them. The methods for therapy are many and we have to see what suits you the best. There are physical methods like exercises, or psycho-social methods or spiritual methods. We need to know your nature, your personality to help you with the specific methods. But be assured that whatever you have been suffering from has a cure and treatment and we can help you overcome it with your help. A session or two will do the needful. Please do not hesitate and do not prolong it.
Q. Please tell me at what age I should bring my child for an aptitude test. My son is in 6 Std and is doing very well in studies. We are very caring parents and love him a lot. We want to plan his career early so that he can be focused and do well in life. When is the best time and at what age should an aptitude test be done. Please advice.
Ans. The best age to do an aptitude test is after completion of 8 Std. The theory is that an aptitude crystallises at age 13 and then the test can be applied. I agree with you that the sooner you get a child focused on his aptitude and his goals the better it is for the child. He becomes more aware of his strengths and weaknesses and also sets his goals by short-listing his priorities and sets about pursuing them. It truly helps children feel happy and clear about themselves and their future as the uncertainty goes away and leads to better confidence. Please wait for two more years and I would be happy to assess him.