Q. I am 42 years old. I am regular reader of your articles. I got married after passing 12th class. Immediately I enrolled for B.A. degree through correspondence course as I was out of my native state because of my husband’s job. But I couldn’t complete my graduation because of pregnancy and subsequently taking care of my children. Now my children have grown up. Now I am feeling very inferior. Whenever I see a working woman and whoever studying successfully after marriage, I feel inferior. Now I don’t have any interest to complete that degree due to lack of interest in those subjects. Another problem is that I did my education in my mother tongue. Whenever I get free time I try to improve my English because I am very keen to learn English language. I want to do something in order to get confidence and exposure. I don’t have any economic problems. But I want to be confident and to overcome inferiority feelings. Please suggest me what to do.
Ans. There are many things you can do. You need not worry about a degree at this age. Of course you can do a degree with the choice of your subjects from the Open Universities that are online courses and comfortable for anyone. Another choice would be to know your hobbies and your interest areas and then learn that art or craft or skill undergoing short duration courses. There are plenty of courses available for learning any skill and for women too there are many courses to choose from. However, first you should know what you enjoy doing and the possibility of pursuing it. In fact these are wonderful times for people to learn and grow their talents. Please explore the options and if you cannot decide then it would be better to come for a session with me.
Q. We (I and my mother) are suffering a very stressed situation. My father is very violent by nature and also very-very abusive. He gets angry and violent over very silly problems. I am a student of 5th semester engineering. My father is forcing me to achieve 80 percent in upcoming exam or he would discontinue my studies. My father is bothered by the thought that in future no one of us would stay by his side and will be leaving him alone furthermore elder sister after marriage have stopped speaking to my father due to earlier sufferings. And now he is taking out all the anger upon us in the fear that we would abandon him in future. Please help.
Ans. It appears that your father has a mental disorder of some sort which makes him suspicious and aggressive. He goes out of control as thinks wrongly and irrationally about situations. That itself is a mental aberration. He would need psychological help and advice. If he does not agree to come you may both come for a discussion with me. Another option would be to report the matter to the police to restrain him from being violent but that should be the last choice after everything else fails. The best thing is to treat him.