Q. I am in lot of tension. My exams are near but I am not able to concentrate. I am in Std 12 and I don’t know what is happening to me. I am a good student and always get good marks in class exam. Now I am scared of the Board exam and the tough subjects. I am taking coaching for the entrance exams for engineering and I am scared for that too. My parents think I will come in IIT but I know I won’t. I am very worried that my parents will be upset as they have high expectations from me. Please guide me and help me concentrate.
Ans. You may be stressed due to the high expectations of your parents and your desire to live up to it. This happens naturally as you would like to make them happy and be proud of you. But remember each person has a different aptitude and a different level of ability. And depending on the abilities and aptitude you have to make a success of your life. It is more important to be successful in whatever you do rather than go to IIT. IIT is not the end goal of life. It would be advisable to drop your levels of achievement to realistic and achievable goals and be successful. Drive the anxiety and fear of failure from your mind, focus and concentrate on your studies, do your best and leave the results to destiny. Tell them not to worry and to be more realistic with your life. Assure them that you will do your best according to your talent.
Q. I am very confused about my career. My parents want me to do science and engineering and become a government officer. They have dreams for me and I am worried that I will not fulfil them. I am interested in arts, literature and dance. I am artistic by nature and love to sing also. I want to be a teacher in any subject, even English but they will not allow me. I am not doing well in 11 Std with my science subjects and I can do them but don’t like them. I feel bored and hate it. What should I do? Please help me –how should I explain it to my parents?
Ans. Choosing the right career for your self is very important for your life and happiness. Career is a long term vocation where we spend the best years of life and it remains with us for the rest of life. You have a right to choose and do what you love doing and makes you happy. Parents have dreams and expectations from children which may be unrealistic may times. This is indeed unfortunate for you. Do your best to convince them of your talents and your desire to teach and be artistic. You may not be suitable for a government job. Do not give up at any cost. There is no point in being a miserable failure. Be successful and be happy.
Q. I am in total confusion. I love my friend’s girlfriend. She is very cute and sweet girl. I feel very guilty and hate myself for doing what I am doing. But I am helpless. My friend asked me to explain some things to her and I talked with her for many days trying to explain her what he wanted. They had some problems some months before and I tried to clear the problems and get them together. That is when I started liking her and I don’t know about her. She is a very innocent girl and simple at heart. She loves my friend a lot. I cannot hurt both of them. What to do? Please guide me. Please reply soon.
Ans. It would be advisable to keep out of their friendship. You would be the third angle to this sweet friendship and if you act foolishly on your emotions you will end up messing the friendship and losing everything. You will lose two good friends and will also end up poisoning the mind of the boy. This is not going to help anyone. Please be as normal as you can with both. Decrease your meetings with them, do not talk to the girl alone, never call her, try to meet them together, stay with the boy more and do not express your feelings at any time. In future do not agree to counsel the girl, send them to a professional counsellor. Take care.