“Check out for learning difficulties”- 18 June 2017.

NS

Q. My friend (doing MBBS) nowadays hates attending college. He feels uneasy and ends up being absent. He thinks a lot about what people think about him, feels inferior & worried. But he is comfortable with his hostel friends and family. He was a bright student but his studies are not going well now. Please help.

Ans. If your friend hates attending college but is comfortable with his hostel mates and family, the problem has to be with the nature of studies itself. It seems that he is not enjoying the MBBS studies and may be finding it hateful. Find out the reasons for his uneasiness and absenteeism. This could be right time to review his interest in the medical degree and go for a change if needed. Instead of wasting precious years and absenting him-self from college it would help to know what he wants to do in terms of a career and seek a change. Escapism will not lead to more waste of time, effort and money besides the harm the failure will do to his mental health. Bring him if he agrees.

XYZ

Q. My child nowadays is not comfortable to go to school. It seems he is in constant fear of talking to other classmates. Sometimes he repeats that he is going to fail and is not capable enough to do anything. Horror movies bother him a lot. It is getting tough day by day as all his fears are affecting his eating habits leading to weakness and sometimes dizziness.

Ans. These are common symptoms among school children when they have adjustment issues either with studies or with peers and class mates. Either he is having some difficulties in learning and hence feels that he will fail or he has social fear and hence cannot handle his peers. The element of fear should not reach high levels in the mind because it could lead to emotional disturbances that affect daily functioning. You would need to check his anxiety levels and also help him solve his problems in learning areas as well as his social functioning by training and development of social skills. Do not worry, for there is a solution to all such problems.

ABC

Q. My friend feels some boy is attracted toward her. She noticed him staring him and trying to talk to her. It’s been five months, now she finally dared to ask him, what is the problem of him, so he didn’t answer her anything and said nothing is there. My friend is pondering about these things and getting affected with studies. Please help.

Ans. This is interesting indeed! The boy’s continuous stare has eventually upset your friend. That must be his goal precisely in which he has succeeded! He kept staring at her for five months without saying a word and once she asked him he denied all! Sometimes people do not have any serious intentions of making friends or making any other type of bonding and commitment but only like some vicarious pleasure like staring which gave him delight. The moment your confronted him he scrammed! Forget him and do not waste your time on this fellow anymore. He does not deserve any attention. He has no courage, no clarity and no spine to stand up. Tell your friend not to read too much meaning into his silly behaviour and to laugh it off. A spineless creature deserves no more attention than you have given him already. Focus on studies and enjoy them.

Anonymous.

Q. Ever since her father died she is behaving not like a normal person. She was a different person before and enjoyed her life and studies. She was a friendly person and I liked her a lot. We were good friends and had fun with each other. I am worried about her future and think she should not go like this in future. Can we help her to come back to normal? Does she need medicines? Should I take her to the doctor or bring her for counselling. Will it help?

Ans. Yes, counselling will help positively. These are emotional issues and for a young girl to lose her father can be a disastrous experience especially if she loved him dearly. The loss of a dear parent can be traumatic and she would need help and much time to heal. The process of healing can be speeded up with counselling and that is imperative if her emotions are disturbing her studies a big deal. She does not need medicines at all and counselling is enough to get her to a state of normalcy. But I would need to see her first to be absolutely sure about it. It is difficult to make any diagnosis in this manner. Do not delay.

PS

Q. I am keenly interested in psychology and I am doing engineering at the moment. Please advice what type of books I should read? That will be helpful for me.

Ans. Psychology has several branches and millions of books! You would need to know which branch is of interest to you and then search books. For engineering graduates, industrial psychology, organisational behaviour, and HRD subjects could be of relevance. However if you are interested in the abnormal side and clinical side the books will be entirely different. Unfortunately, there is no single text book I could recommend to you.