“Count your blessings”- 14 February 2016.
Q. I’m 14 years old. I have a lot of problems in my life. Firstly, my dad is an alcoholic from many years and so I had a troubled childhood. I have an elder sister so when she was here (she’s working outside the city now) I had a lot of support from her but now that she isn’t here I feel so alone and so depressed. My mother is a very strong woman and I have always tried to support her in everything but now I can’t do it anymore and also I have always been an average student but now I have lost my concentration power also. Next year is my boards and I don’t know what I’ll do. I feel like committing suicide sometimes but whenever I think of doing so I think of my mom and I stop. I don’t have anyone right now to share this with, I don’t tell my mom because I don’t want to trouble her. Please help me. I cannot come for counselling.
Ans. Look at the positive aspects of your life- you have a loving sister and a strong mother. You are lucky to have them by your side. Even if your sister is out of the city you can talk to her daily or write letters to her. Also you can share your problems with your mother. She is a strong person and would love to help you. In fact she must be proud of you both good girls and must be relying on you two to do well in life by standing on your strong two feet. So take inspiration from your elder sister and her life and get going. Even if you are an average student you can make a very good career ahead. Your father being an alcoholic must be causing a bad atmosphere at home I am sure. But by now after so many years you all know how to handle him or ignore him. Forget about him for the moment and give your best to your board exams for which you have a year in hand. That is your priority at the moment and that should be your only goal in life till you complete the exams. Do not focus on problems but your blessings.
Q. I am class 12 state board General science student. My exams are starting from 18th Feb and I am finding it really difficult to study. I don’t feel like studying anymore. In one complete day I hardly study one chapter and can’t concentrate well. I have subjects like ‘Marathi and Sociology’ (instead of maths) and it’s bothering me a lot now. Everyone is expecting me to do really well in boards (as I did in 10th) but I know I won’t be able to. I feel worthless now, I know I didn’t put my best efforts till now and there’s no time left. I hardly have any confidence left. I don’t know what to do, please help.
Ans. There is always enough time to do what we want to do. What is disturbing you and distracting you are the expectations from your family. Forget about them for the moment and put your heart and soul into your studies. You have 16 to 18 hours a day and if you think, read and revise your subjects every second of the day without distractions, your confidence will go up and you will do well. It is not easy to fail after studying for a whole year. Control all negative and positive emotions and use your mind/brain like a steady machine. It will work wonders. Concentrate fully only on subject matter and not on people, their comments, friends, and other negative emotions like worry, nervousness etc. Just work like a machine in a very relaxed manner and see the difference.
Q. I am studying in 7th grade. A boy of my class asked me to praise him in front of my friend because he wants that girl to become his girlfriend. I said no but he is pursuing me. What should I do? He is also a good friend of mine.
Ans. This is a funny request I must say. He feels the girl will get impressed with him then! You can say two good words about him casually such as ‘he has a wonderful memory or is a great dancer or whatever he is actually good in. If you are not at all comfortable doing it then you did the right thing by saying ‘no’. However there is no harm in saying two good things about him in front of others. But make sure that it is genuine appreciation and not false praise to impress the other girl. That would not tell well on your personality in the long run when the girl finds the truth. She will dislike you then.