“Deal with stress immediately”- 18 November 2018
Q. I have suddenly developed stress symptoms and do not sleep at night. I wake up and get no sleep after that. Some bad dreams also trouble me and I don’t know what it is about. Do I need counselling and will it help? I have lost my peace of mind. I thought it will go away but it time now for me to take help. My personal life is fine and I am happy in it. I have a job and all is well there too. Cannot think of what is troubling me. When can I come for counselling?
Ans. Stress should be dealt with immediately. If left unattended and if it prolongs it will lead to further complications in the mind and body. We must identify the sources of stress and after that you could learn how to manage them. Bad dreams are also a sign of mental disturbance and emotional turmoil and pops up in your dreams at night. A few sessions of counselling will help you make a diagnosis of the stressors and how to handle them. Many times people are not aware of what is bothering them and can deny problems which remain buried in their subconscious. But this emotional material can keep alive and hurting. An analysis of your life conditions and experiences can help us identify it and treat it. Aim to get well soon.
Q. I met someone online and we were chatting for a year almost you can say. He then said we should meet and I said no for many times. He wanted my photo but I did not send him for some time and then I sent him one simple photo. He said he wanted to meet me and I agreed somehow. After we met he has started ignoring me. I think he did not like me and I am feeling like suicide. I should not have agreed to meet him. He is not friendly anymore and I am feeling he hates me. Why is he doing this to me? I am a simple good girl and I trusted him and now I feel angry and betrayed. I feel depressed and don’t want to live any more. Please save me.
Ans. Such life experiences happen sometime or the other to most people. I do not say that they must happen but they do occur. It is a learning experience for you and you must learn to take rejection from others. I agree that he should have been more forthright about his opinion about you but he was not. He stopped his friendship abruptly. It means that you did not fit his expectations and he was unhappy about it. This is perfectly fine- you may not be the girl of his dreams. Nothing wrong with that but his behaviour could be better and kinder if he was rejecting you. He does not hate you for sure but you do not meet his expectations. Do not feel betrayed for he did not promise you anything but only asked you to meet in person. Be brave and the world does not collapse if one person rejects you. You will find your mate one day. Do not think of suicide ever no matter what happens in your life. Stand up on your own feet and face life squarely.
Q. I am a very emotional person. My friends tease me as if I am a girl. They tell me that I look like a girl and also behave like one. I have many girls who are my friends and I am very comfortable with them. I have boys as my friends too but they tease me a lot which makes me unhappy. What should I do? Is something wrong with me? My parents tell me to ignore them. I have two sisters and my family loves me and likes me a lot. I am a happy person and only when I get teased by boys I become unhappy. Should I come for counselling? What should I do?
Ans. You may come for counselling if you like and then we can understand your dilemma better. You may be showing certain feminine characteristics which the boys target. Try and assess your own behaviour or better still ask your sisters if you are tending to display specific feminine qualities which attract the attention of the boys in class. Check your body language, your speech, your walk and gait, your gestures or the way you do your hair and ask your sisters to help you change that specific action. We can help you too with identifying the odd qualities and helping you overcome it. It is nice to know that you feel happy with your life and there is conflict in your mind. Nevertheless a session may be useful to you.