“Seek training in social skills”- 11 November 2018


Q. My son is 17 yes age according to his wish he is admitted in CBSE commerce. In tenth also we were making to sit for study. In spite of giving private tuition his performance is very poor not interested to study he is too much mobile savvy. If we touch the mobile or ask him not to use mobile or to study or studies he uses slang languages and even he pushes us from the room showing eyes. Worried about him-please suggest.

Ans. He is caught up in mobile addiction it seems and also may be de-motivated to study due to other reasons. It is necessary to know what aims and objectives he has for his future career and in what direction his mind is working. If he is not interested in academics he might opt for a vocational course and get to practical work. Not all students are interested in higher education and many of them may be inclined towards practical and hands-on work. Alternately he may have learning disorders that hamper his educational performance but may be otherwise bright and intelligent. The third explanation is the development of bad habits such a mobile addiction, too many friends, chatting on social media and wasting time in useless activities. First identify the cause and then deal with it appropriately. A session of counselling can help identify the causes of the problem.


Q. I am a 13 year old boy. I am simple and like to have friends, but I get neglected by my friends. I feel so lonely. My classmates blame me, I also feel targeted by my teachers. I am so kind and good in studies too, I try to ignore this behaviour. Still, these things de-motivate me. I feel bad. What should I do for this? What kind of attitude should I have to stop this? Please help. By the way, I love to read your columns and articles. I use your tips in my daily life. Your articles and essays are my source of inspiration.

Ans. Perhaps you need to develop and learn a few simple social skills in action. If you get neglected by your friends and get blamed too for things, you will have to change your policy of dealing with your friends. It is good to be kind and simple but it is also necessary to assert yourself to make them respect you and take you seriously. If you don’t maintain your dignity with your friends they are likely to take you for granted. Try the give and take approach and try to maintain an equal relationship with them. Don’t overdue your share and then feel neglected. Also be pleasant and have social skills for then people desire your company. If you are boring and servile people will treat you as such. We can help you develop good social skills in short time.


Q. I am in MBBS 3rd year. I have interest in psychology. I don’t understand if I should take psychiatry as my specialty because I have heard that psychiatrists & psychologists are more prone to mental illness & the field is mentally exhausting. Is this true? Should I do BA psychology now side by side from open University to enhance my knowledge? Is it possible to study for two degrees simultaneously? Could you suggest any other course or book?

Ans. Psychology is a wonderful science and art and has tremendous scope in the betterment of the human mind. Psychiatry is the medical branch of psychology and the approach is very different from psychology. It deals with the biochemical changes in the brain leading to mental illness and disorders and prescribes medicines for the same. You have a choice of either opting for psychiatry after graduation. As far as psychology is concerned I cannot suggest a suitable course for you right now unless I know exactly what you have in mind as your interest areas. Psychology is huge options and one must choose carefully the course one wants to pursue. We need to know which branch of psychology you are interested in –it not only has clinical psychology which is close to psychiatry but also has other branches which have nothing to do with psychiatry.

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