“Decision making is a process”- 13 September 2015.

R.I.

Q. I am studying in class 11 and also I am preparing for PMT and AIPMT exams. But unfortunately these days I am not able to concentrate on my studies. Its not that I am not interested in this field. I am good in studies but these days I am continuously going down and the reason is a boy. He is a very good friend of mine. I know him from class 9th. Everything was going on well and suddenly one day I saw him crying. I asked him the reason but he avoided it. Then after 2-3 days my close friend told me that he likes me but he does not want to tell me. He thought that our friendship will break as he knew that I don’t pay attention to such kind of things. So till today I have always acted as if I am still not aware of all these things. I honestly don’t want to get into all these things but whenever I sit to study all these things come in my mind. I always try to keep these things out of my mind but I am not able to. Please madam help me. I want to concentrate on my studies. In every test my rank is going down instead of improving and now I am afraid. I feel depressed. Please help me to get out of this situation.

Ans. That you do not want to get involved at this moment of your life is a very good decision. Discipline of mind is essential for good career making and you are on the right track. But somehow your emotions are playing havoc with your mind and his emotions are also disturbing him. Both of you like each other and that is good enough. He does not want to hurt you by disclosing his feelings but now that you know about it you should be friendly and nice to him but you may not disclose it that you know. That will upset him then! So relax and be happy that there is someone who cares for you but keep it as your secret. Always remember that each one is responsible for him-self or her-self and each one takes care of themselves. You take care of yourself and remain happy. He will also be happy seeing you like that. Study hard and keep your goals intact. Stay happy and feel happy. Think positive.

D.R.

Q. I am in B.Com final year and my problem is that I always get stuck between two options and then I am not able to choose because I am scared whether I will be able to fulfil my decision and then I get confused and I want to take my decision by own just like the things I choose which I want.  I chose the thing then it remains same but when its studies I am unable to do so. Please help me out of this.

Ans. There is always the risk of taking a wrong decision but still we have to take them. We analyse them in retrospect and try to do better next time. For the moment you can weigh the pros and cons of the options available and take the one with more pros. That is the logical approach. May times your intuition will tell you what is best for you. That happens when you are tuned to your inner thoughts and feelings. Then your heart gives you the answers that your mind does not. So listen to your heart and then take the decision even if there is a risk involved. Also do not be in a hurry. Take some time and have patience. You will get the answers if you keep pondering over it. That is the only way to learn it.

G.A.

Q. I have been reading your EMOTIONS column every Sunday over the years and see people find solutions to their problems inspired me to write in my query too. I’m a 24 year old young, unmarried guy pursuing my post graduation. My problem is libido. I have been troubled by it since my early teenage and now I feel it has increased. I have had close relations with many of my friends at the same time. It has increased so much so that it rules my mind and has started affecting my career, my relations, everything. I have tried to ignore this feeling many times but the more I ignore, the more I get into it. We live in a society where people are not so open about it, so I don’t know whom to talk to or how to deal with it. Please provide me with a solution.

Ans. Please come for one session of counselling so that we can understand your specific problem more clearly and help you find solutions. If there is a problem there is a solution too. But it needs more details for it to be understood clearly.