“Do not run after an illusion”- 5 May 2013


Q. I am an Engineering student. Till 12th I was a bright student and had no problems with study. In my first year I was allotted a college which was a newly opened one. I tried convincing my dad but
couldn’t and had to get admitted there. In my first year I flung and that was my first failure. But after that I could not pass in any semester, I cannot concentrate on study, I can’t recall what I have read. I have changed my college. This year all my batch mates are appearing for final semester and they will pass out. This fact is making me more tensed and in this semester I just could not read a single page of any subject. I’m now tend to forget small day to day things. I’m becoming short tempered. Please guide me.

Ans. Failure has way of escalating and disturbing the mind. So it has to be dealt with as soon as possible and cured. Now that you have taken admission into the college of your choice you must have achieved some sense of satisfaction. Now some other fact bothers you that you will be left behind as your batch mates pass out and join jobs. But this little setback was bound to happen with failure. The best thing to do is to accept the reality of you being a little behind your batch mates and focusing on passing your exams. You have not mentioned how much behind you are but whatever it may be just focus on your life and not others. A year or two of one’s life does not matter in the long run. Actually you can always catch up with them in real life after you qualify and in fact you can even do better than them. There is a huge difference between college life and practical life. Some people may not do well in academics but may excel in reality in practical field of work. So cheer up, take the challenge, tell your friends you will meet them soon and say bye to them heartily. Now get going and make your life.


Q. I am an engineering student. I am in love with a guy. He has completed engineering. We are very good friends. He stays in another city and will be going there after a few days. His girl friend dumped him few months ago. He knows I love him but his answer is no because he cannot forget his girl friend. I cannot live without him. I talk with him daily and my desire gradually increases day by day to make him mine. I miss him lot every day. Do not know how will I live without him after he has gone. Please suggest me whatever happening with me is right or wrong? Please help me out.

Ans. Your emotions are true but have no value if they are not reciprocated by the other person. Your feelings are going to waste and will make you feel drained of all positive energy. It is like running after a mirage in a desert which never comes true and you remain thirsty always. It is a waste of time. He has been dumped by his girl friend and he is in mourning. He will take some time to recover and heal his wounds. You should not be a nurse or a counsellor to him. For doing so you will feel tired and used up if in the end he does not love you at all. He might feel grateful to you but not love for you. Also he might feel the burden of your love and want you to get off his back. He cannot handle the loss of his love and the burden of your love for him. To leave him alone would be the best strategy and let him recover from his wounds. Once he is back into his good moods he might contact you from where ever he is. Let him go. Find for yourself better things to do than running after an illusion.


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