“Think positive and calm the mind”- 28 April 2013

Q. I am an engineering student. Till 10th I was a bright student but gradually my performance is going down. I am not able to concentrate on studies. I cannot remember all things I read as I used to do it. Please help me out.

Ans. There could be many reasons- one could be that you are distracted with other things such as friends, hobbies, attachments etc. The second could be that you find the subjects tough and difficult which means that your aptitude in engineering could be of low level and therefore your concentration goes down. The third factor could be that you find the subjects boring and uninteresting and hence fail to motivate yourself towards the studies. There could be other unknown and hidden causes which we need to identify and tackle. If you can help yourself by analysing the reasons and curing yourself please do that or else you should come for counselling and relieve yourself of the above symptoms. Do not delay for failure is not a good thing and tends to escalate into negativity and further failure.


Q. I am facing a problem which I can’t share and rather unable to share with anyone. I am in my final year and going to face my last semester soon. Now my problem is that I am unable to concentrate on my studies because I am facing problems of having strong sexual desires. Frankly speaking whenever I want to study I lose my concentration and starts thinking about sex and all which leads me to watch pornography. In my past I did several mistakes. Now there is also a thing in my mind that I lost my mother also due to these kind of sin I have done in the past. I am the eldest one in my family. Sooner after my completion everybody wants me to get married as it is very necessary for my family. Now I want help from you for how can I get rid off from such bad habits though I make myself completely busy but still those things comes into my mind. I heard about slow learning problem also and I think I am facing that problem also. As I am unable to get understand things soon. Kindly guide me something.

Ans. Since your goal is very near as you have your last semester to complete do not lose heart and go ahead and complete it successfully. You have the potential and therefore you have reached the last leg of your studies. Do not get into an emotion of guilt as it is very negative and can depress you. A better way is to stop all bad habits and substitute it with good habits. Do regular exercise of a rigorous type and start a positive hobby like a sport/ game, any activity like photography, reading books etc. Have many good friends and go out with them. Be in healthy company and have a positive mindset. Control your bodily urges and divert your mind to better things. You could have been a slow learner but now do not get disheartened at the end of the course. The finishing line is close and you can make it successfully. Think positive and calm your mind.


Q. I love a girl but she sends me confusing signals. Sometimes she calls me and talks to me for hours and sometimes she will not even recognise me and reject my call. I am very upset. Why she not tell me what is in her mind. She can have power on me and I start running after her like a dog. She loves me or not how to know that. Please help.

Ans. Lot many people at that age do not know their mind so well and have many fears in their minds which make them blow hot at times and blow cold the other time. It means that the girl has confusions in her mind about the friendship and the future of the relationship. She may not be sure that her family will accept it or her parents may severely object to the friendship. So it is best for you not to run after her like a dog and save yourself respect by maintaining a safe distance from her. Enjoy the friendship in whatever form it is now and do not take it seriously and do not build fantasies about the future. Just be friends and let her be. Do not commit and do not look for commitment from her. Just chat whenever you have the opportunity and relax. There is a time and age for everything. Things will fall in place with time.

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