“One thing at a time”- 12 May 2013


Q. I have tried to follow your reply but I haven’t talk to her. I want to be in relationship. Please help me off I don’t know what to do. According to you I should talk to her but I am unable to talk with her. Please help me I am confused what to do. But nice thing is that my studies are not affecting now and I am securing nice rank because of her. I take her name and start studying. Reply fast as I am waiting.

Ans. It is nice to know that you are concentrating well and studying well. Remembering her and taking her name spells magic for you in studies. Do one thing- postpone the talking with her for some time till you feel more confident about yourself and when there is no pressure of studies. At this age you should not aspire to be in a relationship but only in good healthy friendships. Once you think in such a fashion your anxiety will reduce and your comfort levels will rise. Clear it to her that all you want is just friendship and nothing special. That might make her comfortable too with you. All the best.


Q. I am an engineering student. During studies different useless thoughts come in mind and my concentration get loosened. Please suggest some tips to concentrate in studies.

Ans. Concentration is the art of removing all clutters from your environment and your mind before studies. Before studies there are some preparations to be made. Physically, sit in a cool ventilated room with a neat table and lots of privacy. Eat whatever you need to before that and drink fluids as it is hot summer. Clear your mind of all other thoughts by postponing them for a later time. For example, if you must think of your friends and talk to them, decide a specific time slot for that. Tell them that you will be available that a particular time. Do the same for your thought that are obsessive and repetitive. Tell your mind that you are fixing a specific time for those thoughts as it is time for studies. You must learn to postpone all other things to a specific time before sitting for studying. Actually everything requires attention and you have to give that in different time slots. Then your mind will be at peace and it will work better for you. One thing at a time is the best policy.


Q. I am an 11th class student. I read your article in the newspaper and came to know that help counselling people who have problems. I want to share my problem and would request you to help me. It’s about my dad- he was a very jolly person but lately because of a number of problems he has gone under depression and is suffering hard. One of the problems is financial. Lately the work has gone down so he is tensed about the increasing expenses. Secondly he has gone under depression and has started taking pressures and tensions which have caused serious problems of health. Family pressures, work tension, health problems are the reasons for this stage. I request you to suggest some ways or advice me on what can be done. Even a small help will be appreciated. I await your reply.

Ans. Beside medicines for depression which he should take after consulting a psychiatrist, the support of the family is of utmost importance. He needs lots of assurance that the family is with him, that you can cut down your expenses to the minimum, that nothing will happen to him, that he needs to be calm and cheerful in spite of all problems, that he needs to do positive thinking and that he needs to take care of his mind and body. Assure him at all times and never speak a harsh word to him and never criticise him for his mistakes. Stay cool and things will be fine. There are always bad times in people’s life but there are good times too. Behind every dark cloud there is a silver lining. Show him the silver lining and tell him never to lose heart. There is great power in will power. Pray and believe in God.


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