Emotions for 24 November 2013.
Q. My father died since 18 years ago and mom is very low literate. So there was no proper guidance to me about this subject. And thus from 6th standard I became habitual of masturbation. This makes my health too weak. The reason to discuss this problem at this stage is I am 25 years old and too physically weak but still I am unable to release from that habit like beer, smoking (but I am even not interested of looking on this kind of things). Recently I have also had to leave one good job just because of health problem. Also my marriage is going to be arranged within 1-2 year. And I don’t know what type of problem I will face in my married life. I have tried lot many solutions on that but each of them was failed. Please suggest me some effective solution on that or give proper way/guidance.
Ans. Such actions can become addictive and hence troublesome. Leaving them will be an effort but can be achieved if you are serious about it. Get active in sports and other hobbies and being with friends also helps. Whenever the thought comes to your mind, stop it immediately with the word ‘STOP’ and with the visual of a red flag. Do this hundred times if the thought comes hundred times. The second step would be to get involved into a physical activity of your choice. Do positive thinking at all times. Steel your mind and start exercising. Do not go back to old habits. If all this fails come for a few sessions of counselling.
Q. I am a student of second MBBS. I have a lot of competition in the studies with my friends. During my first MBBS I was very good and attentive in my lectures and I used to get highest marks in the exam. But at the time of my final exam, my mom was critically ill. So my performance in the exam dropped down and my friends stood first and second in the class. So now my confidence level is very much decreased and I am not be able to concentrate in my studies and in class. I feel very low in front of them. Please help me.
Ans. Adverse circumstances can affect any one. You faced one such situation when your mother fell ill and it affected your results. That was not your fault but fate. It happens to all of us. Many things are not in our control and we suffer the consequences. This certainly does not tell on your talents and abilities. Your intelligence and discipline remains with you forever. However one time bad results does not tell on your talents and abilities. Now stop thinking and evaluating yourself negatively and start thinking positively about yourself and your career. Making comparisons with others never benefitted anyone anytime. You are what you are and will always be that. You should be happy that your mother got well and is happy today. Forget the past and concentrate on your present. Do well and show your friends that you still have it in you. Best of luck!