“Every behaviour is determined”- 11 January 2015.
R.L
Q. My son is in class 3 rd in a School in Nagpur. Since last 2 to 3 months he is refusing to attend school. We took help from counsellor at school and she suggested to sit with him in the class for 15 days we did same now he is not ready to go to school alone he ask me to come with him or start crying as soon as he reaches school. Counsellor now says he has separation anxiety with mother as he is not ready to sit without mother in class and we think it’s the habit that we inducted in him by sitting with him in the class. And in fact we think that he is not getting a secure atmosphere in the class. My husband talked with kid to know what he is afraid of and he told a group of kids harass him but class teacher and Counsellor are not hearing us and have suggested to contact psychiatrist. Before that we tried to talk with the kids and make patch up with the group of kids and for a day or two things were very nice but again the problem persists but meanwhile we have made him to go school and we sit outside the class but then he sometimes come to check us. He is very good in studies. Please help and suggest.
Ans. A child in 3rd Std cannot behave like a new comer to school. You have not mentioned if he was okay going to school for the last 2 years? If this refusal to go to school is a new one then certainly something is bothering the child which determines his behaviour. Children may be teasing him which is normal activity in schools but needs to be checked by teachers. Either he has been scolded by a teacher for no fault of his or he is beginning to have little problems with his studies in specific subjects. Another area could be that he is submissive and cannot handle other children who are naughty and play pranks on him. If you are unable to find out what the problem it is advisable to bring him to me before you take him to a psychiatrist. Simple things can be taken care of with counselling itself. Do not worry it may be a simple issue which can be taken care of.
A.T
Q. I’m a 2nd year engineering student. I belong to CSE branch, I don’t have interest in it and due to some mistakes I belong to this branch. Initially I was aiming for Civil branch but couldn’t get it in spite of scoring good. Now I’m thinking of quitting this & once again apply for some other college for branch which I wanted. Is this a good idea or bad idea because in this way I would be wasting my two years and also my father’s money? But I don’t have any interest in this only for sake of marks I’m studying and passing exams and I’m having lot of interest for other branch and passionate too. Please guide me. I am very confused. I can’t let go of my dreams and ambitions. I am going through a very tough time.
Ans. A definite decision is difficult to give offhand. We need more discussion and assessment of various issues such as the next best alternative that you are thinking of and whether that is the real thing you want to do. How can you be sure that that is the final choice you want to make? This needs to talked out in greater detail with you as well as your parents and then arrive at a decision. Of course some people would complete engineering and then go for specialisation in whatever they want or some would make a switch right in the middle. Either way is okay as there are no standard rules to follow in career making. But that has to be thrashed out in greater detail before taking the plunge. You have to be sure and so do your parents have to be confident about your plans. Every type of switch is possible in making a career so do not be disheartened in any way. If you can complete this and then move into something else, then the route is easier but if you can’t, then more thought is required. A session or two will help and go a long way in taking the right decision.
