“Get inspired by greatness”- 2 June 2013
Q. I am a 18 years old girl. I was in relationship with a classmate of mine for the past three years. Though we loved each other very much but due to some problems we broke up recently. After all this it is very difficult for me to concentrate on anything. It seems that he has moved but I am not able to do so. No matter how much hard I try. But I still think of him which makes me cry every now and then. My parents don’t know anything and I don’t want them to know but I think they have started feeling the indifference in my attitude. Please help me. I can’t sleep with all this in my mind.
Ans. Being week and dependent on anyone is not a good sign. To become a bold and brave girl you might learn to accept rejections and defeats in life. It will happen all the time. There is no need to lose track of your main goals in life. You should define your study and career goals and get going. Painful emotions will be there for some time and you may try to deal with them in better ways than crying and losing sleep. Go for exercises, games, friendships and other hobbies which you love doing. Even if the personal life is not good life is beautiful and to be lived well. Read good books and biographies of great people. Get inspired by greatness and not by weakness.
Q.I belong from Kolhapur, Maharashtra. I am facing the competitive exam and I cleared it. Nowadays I prepare for interview which is ENGLISH , I have lots of idea and little bit knowledge but I can’t express in front of other. I can’t communicate in English. I hesitate. I think too much about it but result is nil.
Ans. I would suggest you stop thinking negatively about yourself and your abilities. Start thinking positively about self and your talents. English is a foreign language and has to be practised a lot. In interview do not concentrate on your speech and language but more on the content and the subject matter of what you are saying. That way your mind will be focused on the right thoughts and not your language. Most times it is the confidence and the intelligence that matters and not just the style and fluency of speech. Try it out in interviews.
Q. I am a 31 year old recently married (Jan 2013) guy. I am facing problems in many areas of my life due to complications created by me only. Mine was an arranged marriage and my wife is just not what I always dreamed about my life partner. Now, whenever I think about my marriage, I feel helpless thinking that now all this is irreversible and I have to live with it. Seeing that there are no options, I get depressed more. I discussed it with my wife and she assured me that she will bring all those changes in her which I wanted. For that time, I feel better but again after some days, these depressing thoughts come back to me. Since last 6-7 months, I started liking a girl (unmarried) in my office. She is better looking than my wife and has all the qualities I wanted in my life partner. In the office, she sits beside me and we always talk to each other on various subjects. I haven’t told her about my feelings and I am sure she does not have these feelings about me. I understand that all this is wrong and is being disloyal to my wife, but I am not able to control myself. I am very bored and frustrated with my present job. I don’t feel like motivated to work. 2 years back, I got severe fungal infection in my stomach due to which I have developed some serious digestion issues. All these problems are taking toll on me. My physical and mental condition is deteriorating day by day. By nature, I am very sensitive and emotional person. People close to me say that I don’t have much of a will power to fight any adverse situations in my life. They advise me to increase the will power.
Ans. You have entangled your mind in multiple areas which is causing you tremendous stress. According to me your first priority of your focus should be your physical health and the second focus should be your job. Your third concern which seems your priority right now should not be a matter of concern at all. Your wife can be your partner in your efforts to improve health and happiness. She can be a great friend and a caretaker. Try to love her for her goodness and overlook her weaknesses. Nobody is perfect and you should respect her for whatever she offers to you. Learn to postpone personal pleasures and get your life goals straightened first.