“Get up and get going”- 20 November 2016


Q. I had pursued Chartered Accountancy as my career. Now I am at the intermediate stage (IPCC). But I’m not satisfied with this career option because I have no interest in it and I wish to switch to civil engineering. I was student of science in 11th and 12th (PCMB). Please guide me as to whether I should shift from CA to civil engineering. I request you to please respond at the earliest as it is urgent.

Ans. Of course you can shift from CA to civil engineering. Nobody can stop you. There are two things to take care of before making the change. One is your aptitude for civil engineering- an aptitude test will help ascertain whether it will be a good choice for you or else you land up in another soup. The second thing is the entrance test of JEE main which you will have to prepare for and JEE advance if you aim for the top engineering colleges. This means you should have the qualities of dedication and hard work to sit and re-learn your science subjects which you have discarded since a few years for doing CA Inter. That may not be an easy thing but certainly not impossible if you are passionate about science. Your own mind is important and an objective self assessment of your strengths and weaknesses will be necessary to help you make the switch.


Q. I got married recently and I lost my father-in-law last month. He loved me like my own father. I always get frustrated whenever I don’t get the space I want with my husband as he is the only bread earner for the family. We get time but not like we did earlier. I feel like crying whenever he leaves for work. I stay with my mother in law at home still I feel very lonely, empty and lost. I have been feeling this way for the last month. I feel like getting out or diverting my mind but failed. I start searching for people with whom I can talk or share. It will take time for us to settle but I feel helpless because everything has changed. I started talking to people whom I don’t like. I am just always crying.  There was a time when I loved to sit alone and hated crying on small things. I feel so weak and I don’t want to bother my husband again and again on this matter. Please help.

Ans. This is a strange phenomenon as you mention your mental state of feeling despondent and lost without your father-in-law. May I ask if you have your own Father or lost him early in life? For if you did lose your father early on, then your mental condition is somewhat understandable for you may have found a father in your father-in-law and hence miss him. Many times relationships make us weak as they bring out the tender emotions which lie buried deeply in your mind in comparison to when you are single and going about your routine. Marriage for women bring out their ‘dependency needs’ as they may surrender themselves to the husband and his family. The total submission and devotion makes them feel happy and loved by the family and consequently helpless and despondent if the family is not there. You will have to work on your weaknesses and seek counselling sessions to understand this experience better. You may have a different explanation to give me but for the moment I can hypothesise this. Try making new women friends and try getting involved in some fruitful activity even for a short duration, say for an hour or two. That will definitely help.


Q. I am studying in msc (agri). I have aim of becoming professor and for that I need to qualify net exam which is not so easy. But I know that I have potential to clear it. Only I am facing problems are not able to concentrate seriously on my studies due to relationships problems like girlfriend. Many fights are happening between us which disturbs me lot mentally- I want peace in this. Secondly I am lazy also- I waste most time in enjoying or entertainment only. Please guide me properly. What should I do?

Ans. It would be advisable to stop this friendship with the girl for some time. Tell her you want half a year /one year leave from the relationship and would like to concentrate on your career. If she does not understand then forget her and don’t communicate with her. Your laziness may be springing from your emotional problems which lead to mental fatigue. Physical activity will help you rejuvenate your mind and activate your mind and body. Wasting time as you say is just that- waste of time and money. Get up and get going!


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