“Habits do not die overnight”- 5 July 2015.
Q. I am pursuing mechanical engineering course and now I am in 3 year. Mam I am really confused mam. I felt in love with a guy and I love him very much but when my parents came to know then we were separated due to our caste difference. My mom is single parent and for her until I have done everything right from engineering to study engineering in my home town, for her I left my dream to do my career in dance. Mam I am a classical dancer and I want to do my career in dance but my mom want to me to do engineering so for her I know she is alone, she has done many things for me and my brother, I don’t want to hurt her but I love that guy and he also love me a lot and now he is going for merchant navy but my mom has warned me that if I went to that guy than she will leave me. I know she cares for me, she thinks if I am in relation than my academic performance will be lower but I am topper in my class every time. Mam please help me what should I do. I am very confused and frustrated. My mom is class 1 officer as well as P.hd. I don’t know at this century she really thinks of caste n all. Mam plzz help me. I am really depressed.
Ans. Since you are already in third year engineering you will be completing the degree in another year. You can always pursue dance in a few years from now. Perhaps your mother has struggled a lot and feels that a steady income is important and dance has no guarantee of good money unless you become someone and make a name for yourself. Once you are independent and self- supporting, you can go back to dance. Meanwhile keep practicing it as much as you can as a hobby. Actually caste is no bar for marriage in today’s world. But your mother has her own reasons. You should respect her and understand her concerns. Let some time pass till both of you settle down. If the feelings last that long you will be in a position to take your own decisions and your mother might agree too as you would become independent and mature by then.
Q. I love a person badly, was in a relationship with him for over a year. He loved me back. But my insecurity made him frustrated. And, now suddenly he is ignoring me. He abused my parents and grandparents. But still I love him. Also, he has made one thing very clear, that he won’t let me go for a job after marriage. I am against this. What should I do?
Ans. You should forget him as he has two clearl negative points. One is that he abused your parents and grandparents and you should not take that lightly. He will abuse you too tomorrow as that may be his habit. Habits do not die overnight and tend to persist for long times unless worked on seriously. Secondly he will not allow you to work and you would like to work anyway. This should not be acceptable to you at all. The feelings of love and attachment are one thing and getting married to him is another thing. It actually reveals his nature which is disrespecting towards people and especially women. He will make a terrible husband for you. He may be good for someone else who may share his ideas and thoughts but not for you. There is a limit to what you can compromise on.
Q. I am 19 years old, a resident of Nagpur. I always wanted to be in the Hotel industry serving the company at the managerial levels in my future. Mam I want your suggestions and advice on the same as to which way I should take off to achieve it. Whatever I have got to know from my elders and friends about the Hotel management stream is that there are two choices for me to do the same. Either I can take admission in BBA now and pursue my MBA in HM after that or I can directly go for the 3 or 4 years Degree course in HM. I want to know the scope and future career prospects in both the courses, also I want to know that are there any good colleges & institutions in Nagpur for the same which could give me a better career opportunity in India and abroad
Ans. The degree course after 12 Std would be a better idea The government institutes of hotel management are the best and provide good training. Campus placements are also good there. Mumbai, Aurangabad is well known ones. Further training in special areas can be taken abroad after graduation.