“Improper career planning leads to failure”- 7 July 2013


Q. I was a bright student till 12th std and now I am addicted to social websites and pornographic sites and now I imagine only about girls. In college too I see only girls and my grades have fallen. My parents and friends do not trust me and that makes me feel frustrated and depressed. What should I do now? Please advice.

Ans. Now you know first- hand the after effects of addiction. It devastates your mind and ruins your life as it keeps you away from your main goals in life. You were a bright student and now you are a mental wreck with no social standing. Character once tarnished takes a long time to re-build. But nothing is permanent and nothing is impossible in life- that is the beautiful part of change and growth. You can redeem your bad habits and get back to using your intelligence. It will take a while for you to get back your confidence, your learning habits and your credibility with friends and family but it will happen. When they see you reformed then they will accept you back into their lives. Till then set your mind on things you have to do and things you have to avoid totally and prove yourself that you are serious with yourself. Be positive.


Q. I am a student of CA course. I was a bright student up to 12th std and after joining CA I am failing continuously. I have failed consecutively 6 attempts, and my weight has reduced more than 15 kg. I feel frustrated and depressed and feel that my life is now wasted. Please guide me what to do?

Ans. This is a case of improper and inadequate career planning. When wrong choices are made due to reasons known to you, failure becomes inevitable. The sad part is that you have experienced failures in 6 attempts before you decide to re-think your career goals. What you would need is serious discussion on career planning and you might have to start again. Let me assure you that all is not lost even though you might have wasted several years of your life. You could come with your parents or a friend for a session with me. We will do our best in helping you explore the options for your future work life. Do not despair as life is a long journey and failures are stepping stones to success.


Q. My question to you madam is: Can a married woman be so independent in the beginning of her married life that she can risk her marriage for getting attention and acceptance from her parents? Does a woman’s emotion be counted as stupid if she opts for the above said condition? Or would it be just momentary for her to think that way and. Get back to her married life?

Ans. Your question is not clear to me. A woman can always be independent but marriage requires inter-dependence. A risk should always be calculated and never a gamblers risk. A woman’s emotion is never stupid although her actions may be many times. There is no such thing as getting back to married life, once you are married, it is always a continuous process of adjustment and adaptability. It would nice if you reframe your question and send it again.


Q. I am 21 year old girl from small city. As my father passed away before 2 years, my mother wants me to marry as early as possible. In one marriage meeting I liked one boy but he was confused about me and he is now somewhat positive about me as we keep chatting. In some other marriage meeting, another guy wants me to marry with him. I am neutral about him. My family members want me to marry with 2nd guy as he is confirmed. So, what should I do? Should I wait for him at least some months as he wants? Or say yes to the 2nd guy? I hope you can suggest me right decision. Please help me. Thanking you.


Ans. Since you have begun chatting with the first guy you might be feeling some emotion for him. But the family has made their assessment of both the guys and feel that the second one is a better choice. The best thing to do would be to follow your family decisions as this is an arranged marriage. You could do an exercise in decision making. Keep your emotions aside and make an evaluation of both the guys in terms of material aspects and also personality aspects. Then see who seems a better guy. You should not be chatting with the guy as he is still not very sure of you. You might just regret the whole thing.

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