“Learn to stand up and say no”- 5 February 2017.
V.S. Nagpur.
Q. I’m appearing for my B.Sc final year exams and I am not understanding what I should do after graduation. Please help me out ma’am.
Ans. If you are already doing your B.Sc, you have the choice of continuing in the same field by doing your M.Sc in the subject of your choice and becoming a researcher and a lecturer. If you do not wish to continue doing science you can always do your masters in any other subject such as an MBA. You also have the option of appearing for the governmental examinations for various jobs in the different sectors of the government. Banking is also an option. If you cannot decide at all, then you have a choice of coming for a session on career counselling. That is a good way of being sure of yourself and your choice.
R.G.
Q. Hello ma’am, I am a B.A. student. I have always been good at my studies and have been one of the top at school and college as well. I am a very helpful person. However this is turning out to be quite a headache for me. I can never say no to anyone for anything and people take advantage of me because of this. My friends at college are always making me do they projects and assignments for them and I always do them as well. I’m scared that if I say no then they will stop being friends with me as it has happened in the past. So I do all they stuff for them. I feel like they just use me because other than when they have work they hardly talk to me. Some of my other friends have told me to top talking to them but I can’t. I know it’s wrong that I keep letting them do this to me but I don’t want to lose them as friends. Please help me out ma’am.
Ans. It is very wrong that you are allowing them to take advantage of you and even more wrong of them to be taking advantage of you like this. You need to put your foot down and say that enough is enough. They are not your true friends if all they want from you is that you do their work. You need to slowly start separating yourself from these so called friends and creating a distance between you’ll. If they still want to be your friend, you need to make sure that you make it clear that you are not going to let them walk all over you. You have to learn to stand up for yourself and say no when you feel like you’re being taken advantage of. It is not necessary to be surrounded by a lot of friends to feel like you belong or wanted. Just having a few friends who stick by your side through all your worries and problems are enough. You will be happier then.
P.D.
Q. Respected ma’am, I am a 2nd year B.A. student. I am a very shy and quiet person. I would love to mix with people but I just can’t get myself to do so. I feel like they are going to judge me. I don’t think I lack in self confidence. However the moment I’m in the company of others I go mute and I start to over think things. Another thing is that because I’m always quiet people think I am too arrogant and not interested and stay away from me. When I am with family and a few close friends I am a completely different person. No longer shy. Please help me out.
Ans. First of all you need to stop stressing over what people think of you. If you keep worrying so much about this then you’re not going to make any progress because your brain is going to constantly make you doubt everything. Over thinking is a very bad thing as it makes you create situation and problems that are not really there. To help overcome your shyness you can try looking at yourself in the mirror and carry out a conversation with yourself. Pretend that it is a conversation between you and someone else. You can also start taking an initiative when you go out to start the conversation. Even if it is a general conversation of a minute or two it will at least not make people feel like you are disinterested and will also help your confidence. You can go up to people who are with someone your comfortable talking to and start a conversation so that you have a support by your side. Try opening up more to others. If you are still not able to get over your problems you can always come to me for help.
