“Personality improvement is a continuous process”- 12 February 2017


Q. Respected Madam, I have been in love with a girl from when I was in 12th class. We have been together for the last 6 years. I only want to marry her. The problem is that it is an inter caste marriage. She too wants to marry me only. However both our parents are dead against it. My mother has ever threatened to take her life if I marry her. I don’t know what to do. I only want to marry this girl and I don’t even want to go against my parents. She is also making me chose now. How am I supposed to choose between my love and my family. They are both equally important to me. No matter what I do I am going to hurt someone and I don’t want that. Her parents too are putting her under pressure to get married. Please help me out, I have no idea what to do.

Ans. This is a serious dilemma for you. Actually you should have understood the culture and mindset of parents earlier on and pondered over your choices of marriage. In such conflicting situation you have only two choices, one, is to follow the line prescribed by parents and be a good boy and keep all happy. This means not getting entangled in ‘love relations’ and being clear from the beginning about the subsequent consequences. The second choice is about having the capacity to ‘rebel’ and take actions based on your personal choices whether someone likes it or not. This also means having the capacity to be independent, bold and convinced about your choice. This also requires the other partner to be equally sure of herself and her choice. Two people can support each other and make a good life together. The family in such situations normally will ‘give in and fall in line’ eventually. It may take some time but it happens. Now make an assessment of your nature and your strength and your partners’ strength and take a decision. If you are still indecisive a session of counselling will surely help.


Q. I was good in academics till 12 so I decided to do B.Sc and UPSC preparation together but failed. So now I lost my confidence. My dad wants me to complete my PG then do whatever I want. So I am thinking of MBA. Should I listen to my dad or start my UPSC preparation which is my dream but then I am scared as it is not so easy task. Please help me. I am very depressed by over thinking about it.

Ans. You could listen to your dad as doing an MBA from a good college is not easy. Seeking admission in MBA is also not easy –you have to compete for it. After an MBA more options for career will open up, such as, a job in an industry or a bank besides your dream of competing for UPSC. After MBA you could prepare for the competitive exams seriously. However some aspects of what it takes to clear the UPSC could be taken up even now, such as, brushing up your general knowledge, practice in logical reasoning and improving your English language and also building your personality aspects. This should be a continuous and ongoing process and not a curriculum to be mugged up. You could start work on such aspects right away even while doing a PG course. This will go a long way for you wherever you go for jobs.


Q. I am going through same confusion and need a proper career guidance. I want to get in touch with you so that I can make my career efficiently.

Ans. It is normal to go through confusion about career choices and arriving at the best decision. Whatever may be your age we can help you with career guidance and arriving at some good career choices. Please contact our office number and take an appointment for the same. I am glad that you are taking this seriously as a right choice made at the right time saves you from failures, loss of money and loss of face and stress. Do not waste any time.


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