“Learning disorders can be managed” 31 March 2024.


Q. I am very worried for my son who is in standard 7th. Since quite some time he gets very angry and starts shouting at me and his father. He is not good in studies and does not find interest in education in general. He wants to only play games. He does not want to study further but his father insists that he completes his school education and then go for vocational course. He could also go for physical education as we feel he might make a career there. How should we control his anger and is behavior at home. I am extremely worried for his future and his welfare. I want to bring him to you one day when he agrees.

Ans. According to what you say, the primary reason for anger in your child may be his difficulties in education. Children who face learning disorders and struggle with education, get upset as they feel a sense of failure in comparison to other children. They suffer emotional upsets and develop a sense of inferiority in relation to other children. His frustration with his studies and his own inability makes him angry and the easiest and safest target for anger are the parents. Please treat him kindly and with respect and bring him for assessment and counseling. We will evaluate the problem and suggest remedies.


Q. I have been married for more than 20 years. My husband is a good man and a good father to my children. My only problem is that he doesn’t have any hobbies and nor does he have friends with whom he mixes. I have my circle of friends and I enjoy company and outings but he does not accompany me most of the times which upsets me a lot. I have tried my best to change him but I have not succeeded at all. Please help me understand if I can change him or not in which case, I should leave him as he is and forget about it. In my mind I have hope that he will change one day in my company. Now I am beginning to lose hope. This makes me lonely and sometimes depressed.

Ans. You must have realized by now that people and personalities do not change drastically until and unless the person wants to change. Forcing someone and giving lectures will not help at all. In fact, it will make him irritated and will impact your relationship with him in a negative manner. It will hamper cordial relations and make life more unpleasant. The best option is what you are following as a practice- make your own circle of friends where you go out and relax. Make another circle of friends where couples go and he is comfortable with that group. Do not force him for anything and avoid making negative comments or judgements about his nature and personality. He is a good man and is introverted by nature. That is not his fault. Enjoy what you have and accept the situation whole heartedly. Your frustrations will frustrate him and the family environment will be impacted negatively. Generally, we do not get hundred percent in life. We need to be ‘just reasonably content’.

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