“Life is never a straight steady line”- 2 February 2014


Q. I am an engineering student. I had been in centre of attraction and attention always due to the way I communicate and the way I look. But since a year I have put up weight due to which people stopped paying attention towards me and I feel as if I am losing my identity. The change in behaviour of others towards me bothers me a lot. I am losing my confidence level and hesitate to face people. All these have made me change a lot. I get angry on petty issues which burst out with tears as I cannot share my feelings. Help me out please.

Ans. You seem to be undergoing some sort of emotional disturbances which are evident from your symptoms such as putting on weight, getting angry at small instances, losing confidence and crying easily. You have not mentioned the reasons for the changes that you are experiencing. Being aware of the precipitating factors will help you identify the causes and check them. Start the change at some point. Either start talking to people confidently and politely or start thinking positively about yourself and your future. Either one will help you begin the process of change. You are an intelligent person and you are doing a professional degree course. Believe in yourself and your abilities. Temporary setbacks do not matter at all. Life can never be a straight steady line.


Q. I am 24 years old. I have completed my B. Com in Gujrati medium with 50% in 2010. I have got a job in army and I have been working there for last 18 or 19 months. I want to state to you that even if I have got a job but still I am not happy. I thought I did not do anything bigger in my life there was no target in my life but now I want to go for an IPS. Please give me some suggestion regarding this- should I have to go for that or not. In short I am asking that I am late for that target?
Ans. Since you are a graduate you could certainly try for the police force if you so desire. You could prepare for the UPSC as well as the State service commission. Since your medium is Gujrati you must be having the domicile of Gujrat which makes you eligible for Gujrat state commission. That way the language will not be a handicap rather it will be an advantage. At the Central level they may prefer English language. You could take some short time coaching for the same. With single minded devotion you are sure to succeed.


Q. Madam I am in great trouble. I am newly married and it was an arranged marriage. Suddenly after marriage I feel my husband’s nature has changed. We met few times and he seemed to be a very nice person. Now as I get to know his nature I am only crying and troubling my parents. He seems odd and an unhappy person. What should I do? Please guide me and explain his behaviour to me. Will counselling help? He might not agree but I will try to bring him.


Ans. Yes marriage counselling will help in many ways. Firstly it will help us identify the exact nature of the problem, whether there is a psychological problem with your husband or the problem is with his personality or he has some issues with you which make him unhappy. You should be brave to face the situation as you are now a married woman and should stop crying. Your approach should be to solve the problem once we help you identify it properly. It would be best if he cooperates with you and also tries to solve the problem. Even if one spouse is unhappy the marriage is in trouble. He cannot take a stand that he is fine and the problem belongs to you alone. Any problem in the marriage belongs to both the spouses equally and both of you should try to solve it together. I hope he will listen to your suggestion and come for marriage counselling. Be patient as a new marriage takes two to five years to settle.

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