“Make a wise choice”- 17 February 2019


Q. Im Fan Of A Small Screen Star,On Social Networking App I Follow Him.One Day I Messaged Him In DM Which He Replied&We Became Friends Talking Everyday.I Support,Encourage&Admire Him Always.In The Mean Time I Felt He Is Behaving Weird.If I Wont Message He Makes Posts Showing He Is Sad,He Address Himself Bad/Worst.When I Message/React Then He Says Im Only Who Understands Him.He Waits For My Messages &Possesive About Where I Go/What I Do! Please Help Me.

Ans. How can you be absolutely sure that it is the same guy? Someone else may be posing on his name and having fun with you. It is difficult to know the identity and the intentions of the people on social media. If you feel the fun element has gone out of the interaction, kindly block him or give it up in whatever way you can. I hope you don’t feel tied to him in any way -emotionally, morally or being polite! It is good to admire stars from the big screen and small screen from afar and not bring them into your personal life on the media. They are best kept out of ones life! Admire them and get back to your own reality of life. You don’t have to do much but get him our of your own mind and stop chatting with whoever he is. If at all it is him, then he must be a very lonely and insecure fellow to be possessive about you! Well, I don’t who you are and what you do and what is your background? Come for a session or two for reaching a solution to this interesting jam.


Q. I have wasted two years in engineering and I feel frustrated now. I wanted to do literature and my parents forced me to join engineering because I was good in science and physics. Even now I am passing all exams and have no failures but I do not find much interest in the boring subjects. My mind is always wanting to read and write- reading interesting classics is my best time and writing prose and poems is my favourite pastime. I want to grow up to be a writer and I want to a course from a foreign university who can guide me properly. I heard there is no good college in India for writing courses. What to do madam? Please advise me properly so that I can fulfil my dreams.

Ans. There are only two alternatives for you- one is to continue engineering and keep writing and contributing to the local media houses and your college journals. This will keep you happily engaged in both the degree program and your hobby. You will know your capacities and talents in the field of writing and by the next years you would have decided if writing can be your full-time career or not. Writing as a hobby is a great one and engineering can be a great career. The other option is to drop engineering and start your graduation all over again by enrolling in the course of choice. This time the choice has to be well thought out and planned well so that you do not repeat the mistake.


Q. I am engaged to be married and I now realise within two months that I don’t like the girl. She may not fit into my family and my father is a difficult person to manage. I need a girl who will get along well with the family. She seems to be talking of her career all the time but also says that she will give it up. I can’t seem to understand her totally. What to do? I am feeling nervous about it already and lose sleep at night. She is a nice girl but it should not be a bad match after all.

Ans. This is a very sensible approach I must say. There is wisdom is being alert to the apprehensions before the marriage and not after. It is good to re-think and re-evaluate the choice now even if you are engaged but not yet married. Talk to the girl and share your apprehensions with her. Tell her a full time career may not be possible and she may have to adjust to the temperament of your father. Be clear in your communication with her so that she is not kept in the dark and she may blame you forever in life. Let her think if marrying you is a better proposition than dropping you considering the pros and cons. People learn to weigh the benefits and demerits of the proposal and then take a decision. If you can’t share with her then share with your mother or a relative of yours. Be sensible and practical.

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