“Make him responsible for his behaviour”- 25 May 2014

Akshay, Nagpur.

Q. I am a 21 year old male from the field of Engineering. I’m really bothered about my brother’s behavior at home. He is in 12th standard, coaching for engineering entrances. Instead of investing his time in studies, he is often hanging out with friends, seldom comes late at home. He keeps on texting and attending calls on two phones. He goes to gym and is aggressive. My parents, especially my mother keeps on telling him to concentrate but he back answers. He doesn’t respond to me well. One day he was out somewhere and wasn’t deliberately responding my call. I got so angry that I broke his other phone and scolded him very badly. Since then he isn’t talking to me, showing me up as if I’m inexistent to him. He also has a girlfriend whom I believe isn’t so serious about their future. He lacks brotherly affection because I have observed that in every mutual bickering of the past, very often it is me who his going to mend things. What should I do? Please help.

Ans. You brother seems to have serious behaviour problems and does not seem to be worried about his studies and future. Ideally your parents should be taking charge of him and disciplining him but since you are worried as an elder brother you could change your attitude and method of handling him. Firstly, treat him as an adult now since he must be 18 years of age. Have a talk with him in a relaxed manner. Ask him what his future plans are and how much percentage he is aiming for in boards. Tell him that he is responsible for his behaviour and results and that the rest is his choice how he achieves it. Also give him some ultimatum after discussing with your parents that if he fails what would be the consequences. Your parents should tell him that they are willing to spend this much amount of money and no more if he fails. Stop scolding him.


Q. I’m a 12th standard student preparing for AIPMT. I gave my exam, did tuitions at aakash institute and that was my own decision. But now I’m not sure if I can become a doctor as I’ve heard from doctors themselves that they have a difficult lifestyle. Very hectic one. They don’t have time for themselves. And I’m pretty sure I can’t live like that- I’m a very passionate girl related to living my life to the full. I love travelling and giving time to myself. And I wish to pursue psychology as career as I can see my interest developing in listening to other’s emotional problems and helping them out and I also find that subject very interesting. But my parents still want me to be a doctor and they don’t listen to me. I want a solution to this. And also I’m confused if my decision is right for me or not.

Ans. This is a decision which you will have to make by weighing all the pros and cons of medicine. It is a very good profession but should be taken by people who are passionate about medicine and not like any career. You could opt for psychiatry at your post graduate level if you find it interesting. If you still cannot decide then this is the right time to come for a session of career guidance along with your parents.

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Q. I’m a student of M.Com 4th Semester. I have passed my last semester with 65% having a knowledge of tally ERP.9, C language, have trained from CMC Academy in (Advance Diploma in Financial Accounting) but still I’m not getting desired job. I want to take your advise regarding better job career for that I want to meet you personally so, what process I have to undergo. Please kindly inform me.

Ans. The process is simple. Just call my assistant at 9096749072 and take an appointment. She will help you with the timings and other details. Please come after 1 June as the clinic will be closed till then.


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