“You have a right to decide”- 1 June 2014
Q. I am avid reader of your column emotion in The HITAVADA. I always appreciate and like the way you guide the people seeking advice from you through this column. I am 35 years old unmarried working girl. In the year 2004, I had a major emotional setback in my life. I wanted to marry to the boy of my choice and my family don’t agree and somehow it didn’t work out. I was so depressed that I almost lost hope in life. After that I never ever able to trust any person especially any boy so I didn’t get married till date and I wouldn’t if I didn’t meet this wonderful person who brings ray of hope in my life – who is trustworthy, loyal, confident , family oriented man. I met him at my office- he is a divorcee having 7 years old son and is very well settled having a good job. There is no need to worry on financial prospects and also character wise he is very good, belongs to our caste. Some of his relatives came in our indirect relations so we had a confirmation about his divorce and why it happen when we became friends he proposes for marriage and I asked him to talk to my parents and he did. My parents initially gave their consent but now they are refusing to even talk to him about marriage, after discussing with them several times they inquire about him and found everything correct what I told them about him, still they are not agreeing and said do whatever you want and I wanted to marry this guy only. Recently I have given a one month court notice for marriage. It will be over in the month of June I am not getting how to tell this to my parents should I tell them before one day to marriage or before completion of notice period or shouldn’t I till I get married. Please advice how to proceed. I will be highly obliged.
Ans. You are an adult and mature women and working too. You can take your own decisions in your personal life. You must have asked your parents out of respect and love for them. I do not know if you stay with your parents or live alone? If you think your parents will oppose you and stop you physically from going to court on the specific day then you might not tell them before the proceedings. In case you think they will bless you and be happy to cooperate then you could consider telling them a day before so that they can participate in the ceremony. This is a tricky situation for in case you live with parents you might have to tell them that you will be leaving home once you are married. Best of luck to you for your future.