“Make the right choice the second time”- 12 November 2017.


Q. I am 25 years old and a working professional. My family is asking me to get married and they said that they are fine with inter-caste love marriage and asked me to find a match. There is a guy who is interested in me and to some extent even I like him but from the behaviour of my parents and relatives I feel my family won’t be happy with him because he earns equal to me and from a different caste and looks too. So I am confused whether to go ahead and convince my family or leave him this. Also my friends don’t approve of him though their views don’t matter but it changes my thinking sometime. Please advise me.

Ans. This is a tough call to make. When you say that you like him only ‘to some extent’ it means that you partly like him and do not love him for sure. The disapproval of your friends also bothers you because their opinion matters a lot in your life. You also figure that your parents and family may not like him enough. All this stops you to make a decision and approach him in a positive manner. I suggest you go with your intuitive mind and do not proceed with this guy. You may not take any initiative in this regard and look out for better suitable proposals. You could register yourself at a matrimony site and file in your expectations and you are sure to get very good offers. Work on a few selected ones and shortlist them. It might take a year to find the suitable match but you are sure to find one. We are there to help you in any way in judging a person when you feel confused. All the best to you!


Q. I am currently studying in Nanded in a not so well known institute of engineering. First year B.Tech in which I never imagined to be in is proving to be a nightmare. People here are mostly villagers with that dirty accent of theirs, with low mentality, and the city too is under-developed. I hate myself for listing this college in my CAP rounds. Also now I realise that I don’t like engineering. Sometimes I wonder that my drawing and arts was awesome so why did I not take architecture. Now I am searching other options to get out of all this as day by day living here is making my life full of depression and guilt. Is there any other option other than continuing engineering? Can I go for CA or architecture?

Ans. Yes, it would be advisable to check out of engineering and get into the career of your choice. Wasting a year because of wrong choice is better than suffering four years and all your life. Whether architecture will be appropriate or CA is something I cannot suggest with the data I have at hand. I would need to know your aptitude pool as well as your interest areas and your personality traits. The final choice has to be a good mix of all three factors. The best way is to undergo an aptitude test and take a session of career guidance. Once a mistake has been made the first time, you should be doubly sure this time. The decision cannot be a random one. We could help you with the test and guidance whenever you decide.


Q. I am studying law and I like this field. But I have made two attempts in my final. And now I feel fear about my future. And I thought now even if I passed law exam I will not be successful. This thought constantly comes in my mind because of my failures experience. I feel depressed some time. Please clear my thoughts.


Ans. It is nice to know that you like the field of law but face a problem of passing the final exams and obtaining a degree. You are right that passing the exams and practising the art and science in a successful way are two different things. I wonder what makes you think that you may not make a successful lawyer even if you pass the exams, since you like the field as you say. It would be important to examine your abilities and skills that good successful lawyers need and then evaluate your own assets in that light. Passing the exams should be a simpler task relatively which would need more concentration and motivation. Once we know the obstacles that you face during exams we could help you overcome that. Many times failures can offset your confidence and depress you which in turn drops down your levels of energy and motivation.

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