“Marriage is not an affair with love but duty and sacrifice”- 21 September 2014.
Q. I don’t know what is happening to me. I feel like crying all the time. I am in college 2nd year pursuing BE with stream EC. I feel very depressed, confused, sad sometimes and don’t know what to do. This year everything is going wrong with me. May- June my 2nd semester exam pattern changed and all my exams went disastrous and I do not expect to get a good result, then in between my friend with whom I broke up because of his evil thoughts towards me suddenly showed interest in me which I solved and then all my summer holidays went boring. My cousins came all went good but I met with an accident and had to get a rod inserted in my leg. I was recovering but my best friend broke up with me and didn’t speak to me for 2 months and when I resumed college my 2nd best friend ignored me, my health went down with this leg and I got fever and am at home till now. I am not able to forget these things. I regret not seeing my maternal grandma before she passed away, I feel like crying but this incident took place 2 years back. My family has high hopes with me as they are depressed with my sister’s health condition and moreover my family most of the times experiences distress and depression I am the only hope for my parents and family but this environment and these incidents make me cry a lot and I feel like running away but I will never do that. The cherry on this top is I am using Facebook to speak to a celebrity about whose identity I am not sure but I am very attached to him/her. These things lead me to a stage where I feel very alone and depressed. I have lost all my interest in studies and cannot concentrate. I want to fulfil my dreams. What should I do? Please help.
Ans. Yes you have through many ups and downs and don’t know how to cope with it. I hope you have good relations with your parents or your mother who can give you the best assurance and comfort in bad time. Rather connecting to anonymous celebrities on FB for they might cheat you after winning your trust, connect to your parents and family. Also train your mind with all positive thoughts and banish every single negative thought from your mind. Also you should do permissible exercises and relaxation exercises to keep the mind calm and quiet. Slowly your mind will calm down and you will feel the strength from your inner self. Awaken your power within. All humans have the capacity. If all this does not help, then please seek an appointment with me for counselling and psychotherapy.
Q. I am a married woman and was in a relationship with a married man. We never had a physical relationship. Ours was a long distance relationship. It continued for 6 months. Recently his wife started suspecting him, so he calls up only once or twice a week. He has become very formal with me. My problem is that I have become addicted to his phone calls. Now when I don’t receive his phone calls I get panic attacks, feel lots of anxiety and my heart beats so fast that it becomes unbearable. I feel the urge to talk to him. I have discussed this matter with him but he doesn’t agree. What should I do when I get these panic attacks. I try to distract myself in many ways but it does not work. I don’t stay in Nagpur so can’t come to you. I don’t want to take anxiety pills. Please help me.
Ans. You must learn to build up your inner strength by believing in yourself and learning to live your life without dependency. Learn to be self sufficient and complete within yourself. This happens with a lot of hard work and devotion to a cause or goal. Look for that within your family and children and also search and nurture your hidden talents. Relationship addiction is harmful as you feel weak and insecure. This is actually not true as you have a family to rely on. Give more power to yourself and less to the other fellow. If possible stop his friendship altogether it is not going to help anyone. Two families will get traumatised when the truth leaks out which it will one day. Marriage is not an affair with love but a sacrifice and a duty.
