Q. I am a person very sincere towards my goals and my life and wish to become a good person in my life but I am in a dilemma regarding what’s going on nowadays in my life and I seek your guidance. Ma’am I like a girl (not because I am going under certain hormonal changes) but because she is the best personality I had ever seen, she is the most intelligent and the most influential girl I had ever seen. Actually I don’t know whether I am in love and I just want to ask you whether love at this age (16 years) is good or whether I am on a wrong path? And if yes then what should I do???
Ans. Friendship is good and to seek inspiration from good personalities is great. But do not get into the concept of love and all that. Do not define your positive feelings for her as love but as just that- positive feelings. Do not entertain any such thoughts that will distract you from your prime goals of career making and becoming a good person. She would be nice as a friend and you could have intelligent company around you, but you could take one precaution and that is to be in a group of 3 to 4 people and never alone with her. That keeps a check on your thoughts and actions and feelings as well. Choose nice people as your friends whether boys or girls. Enjoy their company and their friendships. Do not cross these boundaries till some more years.
Q. I am not able to study for long hours and even when I study I feel that I am not that concentrated. I am disturbed by trivial thoughts or things that I have to do or I have done. Ma’am study is my passion and I have to study till the time I get that inner satisfaction of doing it. So Ma’am can you kindly guide me through some tricks to be well. Increase my concentration and to increase my will-power which would help me working very hard without giving up to the comforts of life.
Ans. You already have the answers when you say that trivial thoughts divert your mind. One way to control them is to write all your trivial thoughts down on a piece of paper and give them the attention they want. That will banish them from your mind and set your mind free for studies. Also before studying close your eyes, breathe normally and slowly, do a bit of loud humming and then when you feel concentrated in your head start to study. If you get distracted in between then do this again. If it does not work a session of counselling will help you.
Q. I am doing engineering. Due to health problems and poor academic of my 1st year I performed badly because of which I lose my 2 precious year-my bad friend-circle and my mistakes was also an important factor behind this. I scored 81% in 10th std, and I scored 61% in 12th. I was always a student who use to lie between the range 70% to 80%. I represented my school in different yoga competitions and had given speeches on various occasions in my girls’ school but after 10th std I feel I lost my self in curricular activities as well as academics. I am completely diverted, I am a lot worried about my future and career. I want to crack UPSC but I am having any idea that do I have potential to do so and now I am 22 years I just have 3 years in my hand to get settled. Please guide and am totally confused.
Ans. Wasting two precious years is very unfortunate if you have been a good student. Anyway, you have lots of time still on hand to fulfill your dreams. First be serious about your goals and then get going. You have the potential which you have proved in school exams and now have got involved in other activities which is also important for your all-round development of personality. So do not despair. Set your priorities and focus on them now. This is the time for career making and other involvements would have to be discontinued for a while. You will be able to utilize all the talent you have in your career as well as your life in general. Working in a job requires a lot of skills and just degrees do not help. So development of talent and skills can never be a waste of time. You will see the rewards when you get into work life. But at this juncture you need to clear the UPSC exams to get into your dream role. Nothing should be worthwhile enough to distract you. All the best to you.