Obsessed with love – 04 July 2010

Sohail (via email)

Q. My problem is that I love a girl and I proposed her too but she is neither accepted nor rejected my proposal. She shares almost everything with me and always tells me that you are my best friend. What to do- in a great dilemma.

Ans. Wait and watch is the best you can do and should do if you love her. Follow her around and keep being her best friend. She may be taking her time to decide which is good. She may have to consider her family priorities and prepare them for their consent. She may not want to jump into a love affair from a healthy friendship till the time is ripe. So cheer up!  

Shruti S (via email)

Q. I am a final year student in medical field. I have an affair from last 7 years. He is very nice guy he loves me a lot and respects me also. The problem is that he is from a poor family and his academic record is also low. He is working very hard for his studies as well as for money. I am very disturbed about our future whether my parents will agree for marriage with him and is he going to get a good job in future. Please help me what should I do? What should I suggest to my boyfriend? I am waiting for your suggestion.

Ans. Before you think of what parents will say first decide whether he is good for you in all ways or not. Being friends is different from considering him as a partner for marriage. If you feel he is good for you in all ways and will make a suitable partner then wait for him. If he is poor in studies as well what would be his future? If your levels of education and your future job prospects do not match then happiness may soon disappear from life. Moreover as a medical student you have a long way to go for your post graduation. Think about it rationally and then decide.                                                                                                                                                                                                     

Sachin (via email)

Q. I have completed my graduation last year. I fell in love twice seriously but I didn’t get true love as yet. I rejected both the times. I feel very bad myself about the girl. I hesitated to meet any girl when I feel some emotion about her. Give me advice.

Ans. You may have been unlucky in love twice but it does not mean that love will not strike you at all. If however it does not then also you could choose or allow your parents to choose a good bride for you whenever you want to marry. Love will grow in an arranged marriage too. Do not be obsessed with the idea of ‘falling in love’. You cannot will it to happen! 

Richa (via email)

Q. I study in a convent. I have secured 94 in 10th.but people around me think that it’s not enough. I am really disappointed with their remarks. I even cried at the night. They are the marks of my hard work as I did not join any coaching institute. 

Ans. People can be very cruel with their expectations. I hope your parents are happy with your marks and your performance? That is all that matters in life actually. People do not matter in many ways. People are important but at the same time each one leads their own life and decides their career and life for themselves. Do not be sensitive to their comments and be happy with your self. If you think you have done well without coaching classes you have a right to be proud of yourself no matter what people say.

Published in The Hitavada Emotions Column on 4 July 2010.

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