“Problems have solutions” 14 April 2024.


Q. I have my examinations next month and I am unable to concentrate due to many factors. I don’t know what to do. I feel depressed and horrible. I don’t sleep, I fight with almost anyone I meet and I have broken up with my best friends. Something is bothering me but I can’t tell what. There are many things going on in mind and I feel I have stopped in my tracks. Do I need medicines or do I need counseling or what do I need so that I can help my-self. I cannot share with my parents as they live far away in another city. It’s a tough professional exam and I know people make many attempts to pass it but I am feeling very frustrated. Should I change my career line? When can you give me an appointment?

Ans. We need to identify the causes of the mental condition you are undergoing. You have rightly mentioned the symptoms of depression, loss of sleep, agitation and fighting with friends, loss of concentration, feeling frustrated and all. This is good awareness of your condition and I am sure you may have insight into your causes too. You say that there are multiple causes and that may be true I am sure, but we need to put a finger on them, identify them, and find solutions for them. Change of career is always an option but let’s evaluate if that is imperative. If we can avoid it, we will. Failures happen but that is a natural part of success. Do call me for an appointment on 9823073986.


Q. My wife has been detected with a mental disorder and she refuses to cooperate to see a counselor. She says that I (that is me) am sick and I want to blame her for being ‘mental’ so that I give her a bad name and ultimately divorce her. She did not go to the psychiatrist even. I had to bring home a doctor like a friend and he said she has a problem. She would need medicines. How can I give her medicines when she refuses to believe that she has a problem? My friend asked me to write to you for advice and suggestions. Please help me madam, I am in deep trouble. She was not so bad before and was tolerable but now she has become unmanageable. I tell her parents to help her and they say its your problem and you should manage it. They are least bothered. I have a child and she is good to the child but he sees the problems between us. He is a small child and I worry for him too. Please help.

Ans. This is a serious situation and we can understand your condition and your challenges. In mental disorders these are the toughest types of problems to manage when the ‘patient’ is uncooperative. This only indicates the severity of the disorder, because people with lesser disorders want help and seek help actively. The severe ones do not feel they need help and therefore do not comply. They blame the other suggesting they are the ones who have the disorder. This is a catch 22 situation and needs shrewd handling. I suggest you come for a session where we could think of options to help her. There are ways and means of helping the person and we need to discuss the possibilities. Do not despair for if there are problems there are solutions too. Keep hope and keep trying. Be patient and calm. Do not get stressed.   

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