“Rejection is part of life” -18 December 2016.
Q: I am a 1st year B.A. student. I was always more on the chubby side from when I was young. But of late I have put on even more weight. This has caused my self-confidence to go down tremendously. I don’t like going out and interacting with people because I always feel like they are judging me and talking about me behind my back. I know that it’s probably not even true but I can’t help feeling this way. I have no confidence at all and that only makes me feel depressed all the time. Please help me.
Ans: It would help to know the reasons for your growing weight so that you could check it in a proper manner. Is it due to excessive intake of food, or lack of exercise, or imbalance in hormones, or depression due to an unpleasant event has to be looked into. Once the cause is identified it will be relatively easy to check it and control it. Meanwhile try not to think negatively about it as you have been chubby since childhood and many kids are like that. Our image about our body is an important part of confidence and it has to be positively thought about and accepted as it is. Whatever may be the type of body given to us by God it has to be accepted whole heartedly in a happy way. Never compare yourself to others and never think ill of your body aspects. Be proud of yourself for what is more important is your nature, your overall personality and your achievements. What is given to you is not in your control but what you do with it is your choice. So cheer up, take care of yourself and be happy.
Q: I am a 12th std student. I choose to do science in junior college because I got a low percentage in my 10th boards and wanted to prove myself to everyone. However now I am not able to cope with the studies. The boards are really close and I’m stressing out a lot. I keep getting sick because I work myself up too much and then I fall back in my studies again. At the rate I’m going I don’t even know if I will be able to give my exams. I’ve been missing my tuitions as well. My parents are also getting worried because of me and I don’t want to stress them out. They have expectations from me which I don’t know if I’ll be able to live up to, which makes me even more upset. Please tell me what to do ma’am.
Ans: You made a wrong choice of taking science without testing and understanding your abilities and now you feel stressed out with your studies. Perhaps you should have taken humanities or commerce and not science. The best alternative is to appear for your 12 Std examinations to the best of your capacity and then choose the best career option for you after that. You can always change your stream of studies at this juncture before you get into college education. An aptitude test along with career guidance will help make the best choice for you that will ensure success and happiness. Making a wrong choice is painful which leads to frustration and negativity. For the moment the best thing to do is to not bother about your levels of percentage but to aim to pass the examinations so that you do not lose a year. So drop your stress levels, relax and aim low. Then plan properly for the undergraduate programme. Do not worry. Life throws up endless opportunities to make a good life.
Q: Hello ma’am, I am doing B.Sc 2nd year. I really like this girl. We have been really close friends from when we were small. Our families too are very close to one another. Two months ago I finally had the courage to go up to her and tell her how I felt. However she turned me down saying that she did not see me that way. I still went after her trying to convince her to go out with me. She got annoyed with me following her around and told her friends who don’t even allow me to go near her now. I thought that at least now I would try to get over her if she is not interested. But how am I supposed to do that when we are always meeting due to our families being so close. She ignores me entirely and it hurts. How am I supposed to forget a person whom i have loved for most of my life. I am so depressed because of all of this. Please help me out ma’am.
Ans: This is an unfortunate situation. When you knew she had no such feelings for you, you should not have allowed your feelings to grow and develop to this intensity. Even now your mind is in your control and you can swing out of this emotion of love. Treat it as a pleasant fantasy and nothing more than that for the reality is different. She may never like you the way you do. So turn your mind away from her and engage it in other things. Rejection is part of life and should not be looked as a failure of some sort but just as an unfortunate mismatch of things. It keeps happening all the time.