“Relationships are addictive in nature”- 23 September 2018


Q. I am a student will be appearing for HSC exam  next year I can’t focus on my studies properly I am doing my best but can’t concentrate I was in a long distance  relationship he cheated on me then I broke up but he still convinced me that he loves me and want me back but I can’t trust him I say No but Still we both used to talk but now we don’t  and this is distracting me that I always think about him wait for messages I tried best but my mind still I want to overcome it What should I do?

Ans. Relationships are addictive by nature. They suck up your energies and rob you of creativity and focus. The best thing to do is to set priorities in your life from time to time and work on them. Your priority at the moment is your Board examinations and not building relationships. If he has already cheated on you once he is likely to do it again. Once the trust has been lost there is no point in going back to the guy for love and affection. He may be incapable of providing the stable relationship you are desiring. Focus on your life and future and believe in yourself that you have enough talent to build a strong career for yourself. Also believe that you will find the right type of partner in the form of a good guy sometime later in life when the right time comes. There has to be a time and space for things to happen in a proper manner. Trust yourself, pray daily, meditate daily, be grateful for things you are blessed with, set a goal of scoring your best and get going!


Q. I am suffering from depression. How can I come out of it? Please advice.

Ans. Depression comes in like a disease and needs to be treated systematically. We need to make an assessment of your nature and causes of depression before we chalk out a treatment plan of action. There are types of depression, majority of which can be treated with psychological counselling and a minor percentage that needs medicines. In psychological counselling we aim at helping you help yourself to improve your patterns of thought, generate positive emotions and get into positive action and behaviour. If all this does not work for you, generally it does, we recommend you take medicines. A general advice would be to analyse your negative thoughts and work on them to make it positive. Engage with family and friends and do not stay alone. Thirdly, get active by exercising, and building up hobbies you love. If all this does not work for you, seek an appointment with us.


Q. I have anger issues since some time. I don’t know what is happening to me. I have read up lots of stuff on the net and have not reached any conclusion. I get angry at the smallest of issues that appear silly and nonsense. My friends are worried about me and so are my parents. This is happening off and on between some months. I get normal too sometimes and then again the cycle of violence starts. Please help. Do I need medicines or counselling or both?

Ans. Psychological counselling will surely help identify your triggers of anger, nature and reactions of anger and methods to check it. Anger is many times a secondary emotion and not a primary one. This means that it follows a primary emotion and hence the primary condition needs to be identified. Once it is identified it then to be addressed head on and taken care of. Sometimes a prolonged neglect of mental conditions makes things pile up in your mind ultimately blows out when it peaks. So neglecting the mind is dangerous and to leave it unattended is harmful for mental health. Also anger disturbs relationships, harms the family atmosphere and makes people dislike you, which is detrimental to your health. You become someone people would like to distance from and keep away thus making you a unpopular fellow. Take charge of your life by treating your anger by counselling and lead a positive and healthy life.

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