“Social skills can be developed with training”- 12 August 2012


Q. I am very depressed. My family is in a serious financial crisis since last 2 years because of this everyone is trying to commit suicide. I am in class 10th and due to this my studies are getting disturbed. Also my elder brothers’ studies are not over. The atmosphere in my home is critical. Please help.

Ans. This is serious indeed. If the family is in financial crisis and needs help as they are depressed and are contemplating ending their lives, please contact either the police department who will put you in touch with a social work agency or contact the nearest social work agency or organisation. There are family counselling centres sponsored by the government and run by some local social work agency that can offer wonderful help to families in distress. Their social workers will visit your home and counsel your parents. They may be able to guide and help in many ways. Please do this immediately.

Q. I am a BBA final year student and need your help. I am very shy guy and I don’t know how to talk with my classmates especially with girls and I don’t have any experience like how to talk with the girls and there only very few of them only. In previous two years sometimes I had ignored them because I was disturbed and not wanted to talk with them and many times they have ignored me I don’t know why? I am confused should I talk with them or not? Sometimes it feels like I should ignore those girls by not attending the lectures and this is the last year of my college and sometimes I think that I should talk with them? In simple way I do have no girl friends till now. My all other friends joined a different college and I was alone from my graduation due to family dominance. I left my junior college group and I don’t know how to make new friends especially with the girls. Sometimes I also feel pain why did I leave my group? And also feel chest pain while talking to those girls. With me problems are many and no solutions. Please Madam I need your help.

Ans. Introverts have this fear of making friends and fear of talking to strangers. They feel socially inhibited and hesitate to take initiative with people. We can help you develop this social skill with some sessions of training but you will have to personally come for that. Meanwhile try taking initiative in saying hello to as many classmates and college mates as you can, even girls. Keep a smile on your face when you go to college and say hello. Do only this for some days. Then take the next step by asking them a question (eg, how are you, how do you like the class etc). Then you would have to take further simple systematic steps like these on your own initiative. Even if people do not respond to you or feel surprised with your behaviour initially, continue doing it. Gradually people will start responding. Do the same thing with girls. See the difference!

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