“Stabilize your moods and your thoughts”- 29 July 2012

Q. I want to ask you whether the changes that takes place in one’s life is due to God’s plan. I am completely shattered by the things that happened in my past. I am born and brought up at Chhattisgarh. I failed in my 12 std and I told my parents to shift to Nagpur because I was not able to face the failure. My father was a govt servant so I came with my mother, grandmother and sister to Nagpur. I took admission in an Engg college but the decision to do B.E was taken by me in haste not knowing the consequence of it. During my B.E I got 8 backs which again broke my heart. From starting I want to do B.Com but the place in which I used to live during childhood days has no school having commerce subject. In B.E I met one guy he was junior to me- he proposed to me and we became intimate. The guy was very aggressive and we broke up but the memories haunt me. I did not get selected in campus whereas all my friends were selected. As my father was about to retire I joined the job of a clerk in a bank. So I am living alone here. I don’t like this job and I feel disturbed. When I see women officers of my age I feel sad. I am in this job from past three years. I am giving competitive exams but I lack self confidence and motivation. I feel to commit suicide. I am unable to control my mind. Again I met another guy. Please help me what should I do to keep single minded determination and focus in my career.

Ans. This is a case of lack of proper guidance by elders and emotional disturbances. You have taken decisions that are based on emotional reactions and not based on serious and systematic thinking. When you allow ourselves to be ruled by your emotions then you are likely to take wrong decisions and make a mess of your life. Your decision to shift to Nagpur because you failed was like running away from the problem. Taking admission in Engineering was again a wrong choice done in haste. Getting involved with again wrong type of boys has disturbed you further. Being under-employed in a job which is lower to your talent and degree is again causing frustration to you. You must make clear goals for your life for the next few years and remain focused on them to the exception of all other goals. Be bold and brave- you can achieve what you want. Read good books, exercise your body and keep fit. Prepare for competitive exams and take coaching if necessary. Think positive in your mind always. A few counselling sessions will help you stabilise your moods and your negative thought patterns.

R. S

Q. I am studying in class 8th. Recently I was having my exams. My some classmates were cheating a lot but I never cheat. Because of this my ranks are going down in class, who were cheating their marks are going up. How can I tell their truth to madam? I am afraid of telling this to madam. My own friend is also cheating. I am afraid that no one will be my friend because almost everyone is cheating. My parents are saying that you do your own work and no need to interfere in this matter. Please help me.
Ans. Your Mother’s advice to mind your own business is sound advice. Study harder than what you are doing now, keep your mind focused on gaining knowledge, do not think about what others are doing and prove to your friends that it is possible to achieve good marks through effort and hard work. In the long run, cheating does not help at all as they have not gained the knowledge but only marks. Gaining knowledge is more important than marks. You go to school with a purpose of acquiring and developing your intellectual abilities and strengthening your mind. School is a place for building character and personality. If they want to learn corrupt practices at school they are paving the way for going to hell. Be a good girl, study hard and be sincere and true to yourself. Build a good character and the best personality.

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